Thinking it over

Dreams can evolve over time.
Mine did.
With the frustration that comes with the past few years, some dreams got destroyed, whilst one was created, unplanned.

This is probably a nice first baby step towards what I wish to do next.
Honestly, I am not an A student.
Looking through results during my younger school years, I’m more of a B and C student.
The only As are from the ones I enjoy doing the most.
Mainly science, arts, music, (very active in sports)…
Thus, grew the stigma within that I just wanted to get by with a mere pass and get my cert.
Added to the fact that I didn’t truly believe that merely studying will help me much with life or career-wise, back then.
Had no idea what was in store for me.

For one, it shows that I do love and enjoy the course.
If not for the passion, I wouldn’t perform.
That is genuinely true, seeing my past and present self.
So, it’s safe to say that although I know it’ll be a tough journey, but, I know it will be an awesome one.

Two; contrary to my distrust in the current education system, the course went over my expectations.
I love the fact that only 50% of it was theory.
We had practical exams and/or assignments for each module, which, I’ve probably complained before, about how irritatingly tough it was because some things weren’t taught to us and we had to wing it on our own.
Practical things that WILL be used when I do get into the field.
That… the hands-on… is what I’ve always loved to do.
I just dislike regurgitation of theories… people who can only handle written paper cookie-cutter answers, whilst in reality, it doesn’t work that way.

Three; 2 of the ermm.. 5? 6? lecturers are truly admirable.
Real-life accounts, teaching things that will be NEEDED to be applied when I do delve into it, making sure we understand the practicality and technicality of things.
Some of whom are good at what they do, considering their main day job consists of being in the field and doing the nitty gritty.
But, are willing to take the time to pass on their knowledge to us, mere newbies.

So, there is still hope in the system.. at least, for this one.


On top of all the issues in my current job, I’ve also had taken some time to think over what really matters to me the most.
As much as I enjoy helping people, this might not be the right way, for me.
I can’t possibly cling on to a handful of people who I enjoy working with or those past fizzled out dreams of wanting to be deployed (but, never did).
Some things are getting toxic by the month.
The passion to do my current job scope has lapsed, anyway.
It was worth the 8 years.
Time to move on.

Oh wait.. 8 years?
Let’s see… About a year to try to get a spot in doing this type of job.
Job hopping everywhere.
Stayed in one company for 2 years.
Job hopped a bit.
Stayed here (although, I did work somewhere else for 3 months, in between) for 5 years.
And.. I was being petty over the initial first year?!!
Partly because I wasn’t sure what I really enjoyed doing and when I did, I couldn’t find somewhere I could fit in to.
Partly because of all the negativity I’ve received during the initial stage.
Don’t know why I had to prove myself extra hard just because I’m a girl. >_>

Give me another 2 years.
I’m going to build my base solid.
Maybe I won’t be able to work on a global scale, like I am right now.
Hopefully, I’ll get another awesome “work” family further down the road.
In Sya Allah, it will be fruitful.


❤ Icesabel


One thought on “Thinking it over

  1. We need a solid base that relies on only ourselves. only then can we expand and help others get a solid ground underneath them.
    Help is good but it can’t diminish your own living because soon after you will be the one in need.

    Experience is what we need most in order to tackle life and find one’s true base. So the job hoping only helped reaching the place the heart longs to be in.

    Be well and grow within your dreams as they will always grow with your heart and soul.


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