Drawing up a plan

I haven’t been blogging… huh…
But… I’ve been tweeting a lot.

Obviously, there are tons of things to talk about.
But, I still have pent up feelings of frustration.
So, the post will be based on this.

I see my red door and I must have it painted black
Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facing up when your whole world is black

Um no… I’m not depressed.

How should I start?
Wow.. not “penning” down my feelings and thoughts for this long has made me lost touch of “writing”.

I’ve noticed that I’m not enjoying doing the usual “helpdesk” work.
Then, when I had to do a manual labor of changing the UPS yesterday…
I realized that, I don’t want to do this anymore.
*I think I’ve hurt one of my veins on my left arm*
Nearly 50% of my weight… talk about being a wonder woman irl.
Considering how underweight I am and skinny my limbs are.
But, have been taught how to do these kind of things without hurting myself, a long time ago.


I don’t hate it.
I just want to do something else.

My classes start in 2 weeks time.
I’m just dreading having to be lethargic, when I get home and for work the next day.
The one year starting point.
The plan will be in motion.

A few weeks back, one of my colleagues in HQ spread a word on a new job which interests me.
If I was still single, I would’ve taken it up.
75% of travelling a year has its downfall, at least, in my books.

By next year, my team would grow to 4 people, according to my boss.
Hopefully, I’d move somewhere else by the year after, 2017.
Depending on whether they decide to create a new job.
Else, I’d like to create a new path “to do what I think I want to”.

Plus, the people I like to work with are slowly leaving.
Mostly, because they were left with not much of an alternative.
I HATE it!

I used to be this Sonic-the-Hedgehog everything-in-my-fingertips individual, who loves and enjoys being so.
Now, all I want to do is, get over things as quickly as possible, because, I don’t have the heart to meddle with it any longer than I should.

When I was young, I kept asking and praying to God, what will my gift be (I believe that everyone has one) and would want enjoy and truly love doing so.
Not because I have to, but, because I love it so much that I want to.
I’ve forgotten to ask God about the people who I will meet and love along the way.
To take care of them as well.
Now, they’re slowly leaving my side.
Maybe, it’s for the better.
Not that I want to be selfish.
I can’t help feeling sad.

Let’s see how this goes.

❤ Icesabel


2 thoughts on “Drawing up a plan

  1. Just like you said everyone is taking another path. It is just feels like it also coming to a stand still.
    They did not have another option… It is sad to see how everything has changed right. And is changing in a weird way. Or maybe that is just how I perceive it.

    I am glad to hear from you again. That alone made me smile. And the battery change. dang superwoman….

    Hold up that chin princess life has a strange way of kicking the bucket.

    • For most of them, their reasons was more towards their boat being shaken up by the waves. Too many things going on for them and for some, the various factors that doesn’t allow them to continue walking the same road, even if it is their preference.

      It feels more like everything around me are moving too quickly and I, too, want to do something different. Although, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I want to ride the same the bullet train as everyone else.

      I hope you find yours, as well. The path that’s right for you, that is. 🙂


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