Flying Away

It’s been a long time… since I updated.
Been wanting to update many times before, but, just decided to delete it eventually.
But… this time around… I just can’t hold back the overwhelming sadness.

There is not a day without so many issues at a time.
Can’t say it’s horrible… but, I can’t say that it’s good either.
One of the problems constitute my career.
Holding back isn’t fun when the people around me keep bringing up a bleak future.
This year alone, the number of people, I like working with, leaving is more than the last 2 years added together.
It’s… depressing.

Told myself to check on myself at the end of this year.
Can’t believe it’s already October.
Realising that it’s going to be a stagnant position.
I don’t exactly hate this.
I like it, but, it’s not going to help me on my self-declared development and to allow my short span of attention to dwell in the kingdom of boredom (not because of not enough work or problems, but, the shortage of excitement in new things).

Heck… I’ve even been dreaming of getting to new places (while asleep… not daydreaming).
That feeling where there’s this anger within trying to break out because you’re slowly dying of boredom.
In fact, I’ve been thinking of moving out of this field.
Or at the very least… change the area of expertise… I’m unsure.

Although, I’m itching to open my own business (again).
Not doing IT though.
I just want a change in pace.
A change in view.

I can’t see myself being a high-ranked IT personnel any more.
It’s as though that vision has already gone to a halt.
Back in my teenage years, I wanted to do what I’m doing right now.
Now that I’ve satisfied my craving, I want to break out of this shell.
Others are thinking of “settling down” to a fixed income as they grow older.
I’m thinking of the exact opposite.

It wasn’t any fun crying and breaking down countless times back then.
But, the satisfaction of being steps ahead afterwards was so good.
Being independent and most of all… prove people otherwise.

Alright… I’m done whining.
Time to start re-evaluating and planning for my next course in life.


❤ Icesabel


4 thoughts on “Flying Away

  1. This isn’t whining. this is self discovery. Exploring your own possibilities. Following your dreams and having the right motivation for it.
    I broke a job so often I forgot how many, but with each came an experience and that they can never take away.

    Find your path but be sure to keep up that smile, after all it is what you enjoy doing. It is a choice of happiness.
    Keep smiling beautiful it suits you best


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