Father’s Day

15th June is Father’s Day.


Whilst there are a handful of blog posts on my mum, I never wrote about my dad.
I never really thought about it.
So, I might actually be “brainstorming” through my memories and picking up wisps of it to place it in this post.
Thus, it might sound more like pieces of broken memories being placed together in a puzzle.

As with the many times I’ve said… I grew up with my grandparents until I was 15 or so.
Whilst my mum seems more like the breadwinner of the family…
In my eyes, my dad was a very laid-back person who didn’t seem to be doing much.
My mum paid for most of everything in the house, including the family car expenses and whatnot.
Thus, although we weren’t close, I do admire her for these good qualities of being strong emotionally and mentally.
Sometimes, I would hear regret in my mum’s voice, when she ever does talk to me personally, about my dad.
He ain’t a bad person.
Well, no one is perfect.
His priorities might seem clouded up, in my opinion.
He has made personal mistakes whilst I was growing up that I’m not particularly proud of.

I remember trying to wake him up so that he could send me for my morning Saturday classes.
Usually, failed attempts and at times, he said you don’t need to go and would talk to my teacher.
But, I loved studying, so, I was very pissed many times at him.
Since I was only given enough for one meal from Monday to Friday…
On Saturdays when I had classes, I would meekly ask my dad if I could have extra for one meal on a Saturday since I would have to be out.
Most of the time, he would tell me to ask my mum.
But, since I was scared of my mum, I eventually wouldn’t eat for the day.
Since I’m the black sheep of the family, (according to my mum), when my mum is in a bad mood and ready to strike me, my big brother was the one to help me, but, not my dad.

He would play soccer with me and my 2 brothers and our flat neighbours.
Even when we’ve moved twice, we made friends with our neighbours to play soccer at the field nearby.
He would bring me to the institution he was teaching at for a couple of years as an engineering lecturer when I was very young, though that made me bored.
He would crack stupid supposedly-jokes that is not in the least funny, which would make all of us laugh because of that stupidity.
He’s the total opposite of my serious and strict mum.
He isn’t exactly tech-savvy or good in the English Language.
So, he’d always embarrass us (the family) when we’re out and about.
He does lighten up the mood whenever a grave situation is about.
Sometimes to the point that he should’ve stopped joking and made it very inappropriate to joke about.
He’s not far-sighted, who’d think further on consequences, etc.
He just does whatever he wants to.

When he started to job hop, my mum started to worry I’d be like him and not stick to a job or have a stable career.
But, she didn’t understand my need to find my passion in the work that I have to do.
Although, I have most of my mum’s character, I have facial features of my dad.

But, you know…
Without him, I wouldn’t be alive and who I am… now, would I?


❤ Icesabel


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