Was reflecting, this morning, about what I felt and thought about yesterday.
As I looked around me, it already angers me to see old people who look like they’re between their 60s to 80s, working their heart out in the sweltering heat or drenched in the heavy rain.
I’ve always wanted to blame someone on that.. and that is why I hate the black sheep in the govt sector.
So, it made me feel that my exhaustion is nothing compared to the “blood and sweat” of these people who have to slave away their time and energy just to live on.
I can’t run away from the tiredness of my own body though.
Eventually, I’ll just drop down and lie flat.
The only thing that can answer to why I’m like so, is because I’m underweight.
I’ve been underweight since I can remember.. which probably is when I was 4 years of age (last I remember stuff about my life).
But, I like to push myself to the limit and not give up on what I want to do.
Yet, when I get too stressed, worry too much or have a lot of work at once (especially programming), it depletes my energy quicker than the average speed.
If I don’t look out for myself, a subtle and insidious change of health would occur.
The weird thing is that, (honestly and not trying to bloat up), whilst God gives me a certain amount of intelligence in order to do my work efficiently, I have this downfall.
In some ways, I am kind of glad.
Because I get to eat my pie now and then, especially when I know I really need to.
What I mean is.. to remember that I’m only human and I have to stay grounded.
But, still… I can’t compare what’s in my life to others.
I guess I feel ashamed of myself that I’m whining a lot when I really shouldn’t.