Dear Diary,

All I keep hearing from people today are about the choices that I can make.
One that I’ve got to make soon.

I’m not entirely sure why I’ve been placed in this position.
From one point of view, it’s supposed to be a blessing.
From another, I could break both ways.

I feel really bad.
For both ends.
Now I’m wondering why am I thinking about everyone else but me when it’s supposed to be my future. O.o

One side is giving me all the benefits I’d ever want.
One side is giving me the satisfaction of the work I want to do.


After asking the HR director lady on how the future will be if I joined them.
After her explanation, she ended with a “it’s still a long way to go”.
My voice just croaked out instantly, “time flies by really quickly”.
She nodded.

You know…
Just outside her office, there was a small class of women learning how to read the Muqaddam.
It’s something like learning ABC of Arabic scripture before you move onto Al-Quran.
Some day, if I’d ever can teach (last post about me not being able to teach others), I’d want to do so.

Praise to God…
Just like whatever I wanted and did learn, about anything, all throughout my life, I learned it just as quickly.
Got hold of the elocution of tajwid before I was a teen.
So, I can read and write in Arabic.
But, I’ve yet to… gosh.. ever memorizing the whole Quran.
Only the main verses, yes.
But, I memorised a few when I was in kindergarten.
Ahhh… I remember reading verses out of the top of my head when I was only 5.
Not sure why I wanted to memorise those because no one forced or asked me to do so.
It just… well, made me happy.

But, just like even some non-Muslims I know of who are curious, I like to read up more on what is written in there.
It’s more than just reading, but, understanding.
There’s a lot written there that anyone can learn from.

Well, yes, two things I’ve yet to do.
Dress appropriately and go for hajj.
(5 pillars) Islam.. Iman… Ihsan.
Not sure why I get excited and happy over this.. but, well, it’s fine.
I don’t need a reasoning for being happy, do I?

So, some day, if I’m given the chance, I’d like to do so.
Well, maybe I do know what I want to do when I’m much older (if I live long enough).


Now, there’s one more reason why I should join the other organisation!
It’s starting to align with a part of what I want to do.
Still trying to weigh between the two. 😦


Think it’s time to head for bed now.


❤ Icesabel



Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s