Daily Prompt: Happy Endings

Daily Prompt: Happy Endings.

Tell us about something you’ve tried to quit. Did you go cold turkey, or for gradual change? Did it stick?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us THE END.

~~~~~

Not everything that you leave and move on from equates to being a quitter.
But, it does.. most of the time.
Although, there’s much more to it than meets the eye.
There isn’t exactly anything wrong with quitting especially when the situation pretty much “forbids” you to stay.
I’m not going to tell you about any particular scene of me quitting.
It’s going to be a collective memoir.
Let’s get started. 🙂

Growing up, I was taught, by a lot of different people like teachers and elders, that quitting is a problem.. as if it’s a sin.
People who quit are just that.. quitters.. and they’re looked down upon.
It didn’t occur to me how much it would affect me when I started to walk on my own.

It was degrading enough that the elders kept saying negative things about so-and-so quitting.
Not being stable in their career or life.
I felt truly sorry for those so-and-so.
I really do, but, I never spoke back because I didn’t have enough evidence of reality that their statement is untrue.
I was still too young.

But, as time passed, I realised how people tend to be afraid of change.
Afraid of uncertainty.
They feel safer in their own bubble of comfort, where everything is in place as it should.
That even with their eyes closed, they know what is where and where to walk.
Which, is fine, if you want to stay that way.
/shrugs
Your life, your choice.

I was…
A quitter most of my life.
But, it was worth it!

I was a competitive runner since I was 7.
By the time I was 9, I joined the athletes’ club.
But, I quit the team because the teacher was always dotting on his daughter, who was of the same age as me.
I wasn’t even given a chance to train together with them.
Initially, I thought that joining the club would make me a better runner.
Instead, it dampened the strength of the cheerleader in me.
I got so frustrated that I quit and trained by myself.
Was I ever glad I did.
Because I was way better than her or most of my age all the way until I was 16.
I loved running during my teens.
There’s this other girl who was always my pure competitor.
It was great fun to see who was going to beat the other.
Truly, great sportsmanship.
Even when others would join the competitions, there’s only both of us competing for the first spot.


The rest of my medals are at my grandparent’s house.
Ermm.. this is only under the running category… errrr.. one volleyball.
Got certifications for Art, Music, English language and Malay language.
Threw away all the prizes that I’ve obtained before I reached 13.

After I quit the athletes’ club, I joined the concert band.
Only because I thought that it would be fun. O.o
Funny enough, I’ve always thought that I was horrible at reading notes.
I taught myself to play the keyboard, found it in my grandparent’s store room, when I was 6.
So, it was always by ear.
The tones, rhythm, beats.
I listened to musicians and singers play an instrument or their vocal cords attentively and would imitate them.
I didn’t understand what was on paper.
But, I understood the beauty of its natural movement.
Although, I quit the band after a few days because they wouldn’t allow the younger ones get an instrument until much later.
But, after I quit the choir of 2 years, when I was 14, I joined the military band.
In just a few weeks, I learned so much.
In less than a year, I was already on par with the senior flautists.
The most senior flautist was of my age though, but, I was considered a junior because I’ve only just joined the club.
But, she and another “senior” who was a year younger than me didn’t like that.
Thus, conspired to not teach me when they started to see what they didn’t want to.
Me?
Who cares?
I trained myself night and day and got promoted (skipped a rank) by the other seniors.
With much passion, taught my beloved juniors who joined after me.
While the 2 cared only for themselves and their so-called ranks.
After countless of competitions and performed locally and overseas in both choir and band, I left.
2 years of each.
Graduated with a distinction in co-curricular activities.
I never played another instrument or sang (except casually) after that.

I hate finance.
My accounts teacher told me to drop the subject or I would fail it.
She hated how I’ve always never scored as well as my classmates.
I was an A/B student in Science, Maths and English.
But, not Accounts.
Because I HATED it.
I hated it with a passion.
She would constantly tell me that I would fail my final year.
I was so frustrated at her that I went out, bought some books with my own what’s left of my pocket money.
Studied 3 months before the finals.
I got a B… ok.. not an A… but, I was always getting F for that.
She shut up after that.
Well, it wasn’t as if I was ever going to see her after I graduated anyway.


For that, it wasn’t me who wanted me to quit.
Someone else wanted me to quit.

During that same period of time, I told my arts teacher that I wanted to drop my art subject from my finals.
I was already nearly in tears, telling her that my Art subject would pull the grades of my other subjects down.
She talked me into keeping it though.
I was always helping her and another art teacher after school hours, so, I was pretty close to them.
Actually, I was very close to my music teacher (who trained me in choir) as well that we’d go out after school hours.
Gorgeous teachers… haha.. they were very hot ladies.
I was a geek at that time though, with huge glasses, over the knee skirts and sporting a pony tail.
Anyway, she (art teacher) talked to another girl classmate of mine and the 3 of us went out after school to a few “pure” arts schools.
She gave us an offer we couldn’t resist.
Of our whole school, only the 2 of us took up fashion design for the Arts project portion for our finals.
I never thought that I would be interested in fashion, being the geeky me who never gave a second glance to the world of fashion.
She boosted our morale and guided us along the way.

During the finals of the Arts paper, when we had to do still-life drawing, everyone kept saying that using coloured pencils would boost our grade.
I tried it.
Halfway from the end of the time-frame, I erased it so badly I got frustrated and tore the paper up.
I put my head down in my curled up arms on the table in the middle of the exam hall and cried softly for some time.
I wanted to just quit, leave the hall without handing in anything.
But, I kept crying.
Then, I remembered my lovely and patient art teacher.
Remembered her advice on doing what we would be most comfortable with.
Rubbed my eyes, took out my B-pencils and drew away.
It wasn’t as good as the ones I would normally do, but, it was way better than doing what others wanted to.



I don’t normally draw any more, but, I do enjoy drawing faces when I have the mood to.

Even in martial arts, after 2 years, I quit because I couldn’t join any competitions due to my weight.
I was too underweight and couldn’t gain enough to join the age group I needed to.
But, I trained with my bestie and cheered her on every time she joined the sparring competitions.
Truthfully, it actually hurt me deeply to see her being able to do what I couldn’t.
Not because I really couldn’t.. I wasn’t allowed to due to the rules.
I would cry so much after watching her.
It hurt so much and never told her the truth when I finally said I wanted to quit.
She still doesn’t know.

Wrong relationships that I had to keep quitting and leaving to find the right one.
There were times when I just kept staying in the wrong one because I was afraid, myself.
Afraid that no one would love me.
Unsure whether I will be okay if I left.
It drove me insane.
Emotionally scarred.

I’ve quit my jobs countless times.
I job-hop.
Only because I wanted to find something I had passion in.
Do something I really love.
I didn’t want to do something for the sake of just work or money.
Quitting was ALWAYS an option for me in this.
My mum was asking me why I was doing so.
She was afraid of the uncertainty, but, I knew that I didn’t want to waste my time doing something I hated.
Now, I’m where I think I want to be at this moment.
I’ll be moving forward as time goes on.

Although, while trying to get into the IT industry with a degree in finance was absurdly tough on me.
For that, I didn’t quit trying even through and through, I was advised and been harshly told upon to quit trying to be in IT because I had nano experience in it.
I knew where I wanted to be at.
Hard-headed, yet, emotionally still always a cry-baby (as you’ve noticed), I didn’t care what they said and still went ahead with my dreams.


I work closely with the whole of Asia and sometimes, Africa and US/UK.
I love my regional IT team.
I love what I do.
As an added bonus, I get to help the unfortunate, victims of natural disasters, conflicts, world issues, etc.

Mum.. you’ve never watched me win or obtain anything.
Well, only once.. once you watched me perform publicly, whilst I was in band.
I’ll always treasure that day.
But I know that you’ve always been scared for my future.
You only wanted safety for me.
But, I will keep quitting to do what I want to.
I will keep quitting no matter what people say or do.
This is my life.
I’ll make my own mistakes and path.
In the future, I will be a mum who will watch my own kid the way I wish you did.
I will always love you though.

I quit because of the countless reasons to mould my own future.

People say “don’t quit and keep going to the end”.
Under certain circumstances, you have to MOVE ON.
Quitting is an option.
When you know where you want to go to next.

I’d say, don’t back out when you’ve made up your mind to quit.
Quit and don’t look back.
When a new chapter begins, you’ll see a difference… eventually.

My “advice” isn’t exactly conventional of any sort.
But, you have to remember that there isn’t a one way that is right for everyone.
Everyone is unique with their own timeline of ups and downs.
You know what’s best for yourself.
Advice from different people are just that.
The rest is up to you.

❤ Icesabel

Advertisements

Shoutout!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s