I’m still downright, a girl inside out.
Even if I were to say I was and probably still a tomboy.
And… well, I love it.
I wanted to talk about the last weekend’s course.
It was a marriage preparatory course which is compulsory to take up and to submit it to the Registry of Muslim Marriages.
Not sure when they made it a must though because I know some “older” couples (not old of age individually, but, based on when they got married) didn’t need to.
We took up the one in English language instead of our mother-tongue language in Malay, so, there wasn’t much of a choice to which company that offered one with that criteria.
One-third of the class was made up of new-entry Muslims, but, most, were non-Malays.
I was sceptical about it because I’ve only heard good reviews on the ones in the Malay language in mosques.
But, I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it because it was worth it.
It’s just that, I barely speak in other languages unless I’m speaking to someone who isn’t able to speak English.
So, it’s more of a habit than anything else.
It was very engaging and the lecturer was a really bubbly and open person.
It was so upbeat that, only until the very end of the 9th hour on the first day was I starting to fidget due to fatigue.
Well, so was everyone.
But, I’m not one who can sit still for long, I get irritated inside and my mind and eyes will start to wonder.
Yet, I was pretty happy that the things that we didn’t talk about were being brought up, so, we engaged in discussions between one another.
Topics that sometimes I want to bring up, but, he’s into other stuff and not thinking that it’s important.
Although, the course was in the context of Islam, which, I knew most of what he mentioned of (including the history of a lot of things), maybe, I’ve been reading a lot of things way too much… most of it are the basics of what any other non-Islam person would learn as well.
The things that I learned in the context of Islam for the day was how flexible and simple Islam really is.
I would love to say the concepts, but, if I didn’t explain it thoroughly, it might be understood.
Ok.. let me try.. Wallahu A’lam (Allah knows best).
Some of these portions are based on my knowledge and not from the lecturer.
Also, some may not agree, depending on how uptight their values, beliefs and interpretation of the Sunnah (basis of the teachings and practices of Islamic prophet Muhammad and interpretations of the Quran).
For example, in Islam, the wife has to satisfy her husband, so, look sexy and pretty all the time (only for her husband), talking sweetly to each other, etc.
It’s true that a lot of dissatisfaction and not being able to get something from their partner will cause one to go astray and find it from an “outsider”.
May it be sex, emotional support, love, even boredom/lack of surprise/enthusiast/”lost of spark” or whatever else that has been lacking in the relationship.
But, everything is only for her husband.
Also, they cover everything except the face and hands (in some context, everything, well, that depends) from strangers, except
- by blood: such as their own family
- by marriage: their husband
- by breastfeeding
It’s to protect their modesty and as much as possible, eradicate the arousal of anyone outside the above list from arousal (sorry.. I don’t think I can think of another word other than this).
It doesn’t only constitute on covering, but, the main portion is not to dress in a way to attract attention.
Meaning, not being showy or flashy.
That could be in the form of colours that just attracts attention (just an example, people who love neon lights kind of flashy, something of that sort).
Wearing tight clothing, so, you can actually see the exact shape of the person, that, in theory, she thinks that she’s covered, but, if you think of it again, doesn’t it still cause the same effect as dressing openly?
It’s just way more than this!
Another would be that the husband has to be the breadwinner of the family.
His role as a Muslim head figure is to lead, to provide sustenance for the family, yes, including paying all the bills and whatnot.
The basics should be cleared off by him, but, if the wife should want more, she can go ahead and work and add into their spending power.
But, her role is to take care of finances, the children and her husband’s needs.
Now, for example, should she have a pay of 10k and he has a pay of 2k, they can still work out that he can stop working, become a house husband.
In agreement, she pays him 5k (it depends on what they prefer) and he pays for the bills and whatnot based on that amount.
We are taught not to waste.
I can go on and on, but, yes, Islam is much more than just what you think it is.
The laws are actually simple.
What is not good for a human being is a sin or frowned upon.
It depends on how you see that good is.
For example, why do you think that we are not allowed to eat pork?
The negative outweighs the positive.
Not everything is done blindly and without reason.
If, you’ve been hearing about the unfair treatment towards women.
Well, let’s just say that the “higher-ups of those countries” have something else in mind and probably how they interpret the Sunnah is.
It’s like a preventive counselling.
Going through what most divorce issues are based on.
Yet, it incorporates other aspects that drives well into the basic needs of life as well.
So, we went through money matters, about sex, career, family, mental coping, etc.
Ah yes, women are from Venus and men are from Mars concept.
Where we had to learn and understand the different types of relationship styles and how different men and women talk or communicate.
Overall, it makes people to think it over.
He said that there was one time that a lady wrote back to him a few months after the course saying that on a mutual understanding, they went separate ways after the course.
As their differences were too great and they couldn’t compromise, but, she has found a more perfectly suited person.
After the 2-days course, although the both of us were very tired, we’ve actually become closer than before.
True, there were a few things that we did avoid talking about, but, spoke about it then.
I hope and pray you’d still say the same things you did… 10 years back, 2 days back, everything in between, all the way until 60 years later (if we live that long). In Syaa Allah (God Willing).
If you don’t already know, but, is curious.
We believe in the prophets including (from the earliest of the human line) Adam, Abraham, Moses (who had the Torah), David (who had the Psalms), Jesus (who had the Bible) and the last, Muhammad SAW (who had the Quran).
That is why I love learning about Islam.
Except that there will always be someone who will hate without concrete reasoning.
Your reasoning may well be based on the media and the “higher-ups of the country” who wants you to believe what they want you to believe.
The same as what I’ve been pissed off about other political stuff, which doesn’t have anything to do with religion.
One can hate all they want.
One can blame others based on anger with no supporting basis.
I actually don’t mind people not liking or agreeing as long as they know how to tolerate, give and take and understand.