A little something for nothing

I know it’s a little late and I should head to bed, but, I need to take this off my chest before I do so.


Some days I come across people who are worse off than the average person.
Just like a moment ago when I walking back home.
We spoke for some time and whatnot.
But, I’m not here to talk about what I’ve said and done.

There are days when someone would pry open your “closed” eyes, so that you will learn certain things or to eat the pie.
For me, I tend to allow my head go into the clouds way often than I should.
Therefore, often, I would lose ground on reality and of what I should really understand instead of the “superficial” problems around me.
I can to go into a really negative mode if I allow even the simplest problem to engulf my thoughts.
So, it’s supposed to be a cooling-off treatment for myself, to let myself fly free, that is.
Thus, I would always notice these or people would randomly come up to me and be brought back to where I should.
Which, yes, I’m thankful for “having my head knocked at” to lose the amnesia (not literally, of course).

I have the weakest heart when it comes to this.
So much so that I hate it because I get taken advantaged of, but, realised it too late.
Maybe others aren’t so religious, but, I have a habit to randomly pray silently for passers-by who just breaks my heart.
You have to understand that quite a number of people find it insulting to be helped, but, it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t try if I could.

Also, from these past few days, the amount of good that people have shown randomly in public that I’ve been seeing is pretty a lot.
All in all, most, if not all, are suffering in the same boat.
Meaning, those who are not well off just as well.
They know the plight, pain and difficulties, that, they themselves wouldn’t want to see others in the same situation, if possible.
Probably why I would turn away when people show me videos of the rich doing their “thing”.
They are oblivious to the other side of the world and I don’t know why so many people look up to that or dream of being rich when it feels more as though you’ve sold a part of your soul.
Not all of them though.. not all.
In addition to that, people can change anyway.

I wouldn’t say that I’ve not had my fair share of troubles and barriers that stopped me along the way to where I am right now.
But, by the way she says it all, I’m pretty well blessed with what I currently have.
Compared to her, yes.
I know… I should be thankful.

It has been difficult for me the past few months.
Painful migraines and stress.
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my other half I want to call the wedding off because I couldn’t take the stress of a handful of factors.
For one, it’s freaking expensive to live here and the government just SUCKS big time.
One by one the problems came pouring in, but, I haven’t said anything in detail, not that I want to.
I can’t believe that the once childish boy can be way matured than I am at times.
He may not be well-off to save us from some of these problems, but, he balances and strikes off the negative points of me.

Although, I think he’s pretty possessive because I wanted to volunteer to go over to Philippines at the end of this year..
On a one month project of setting up an office and network in one of the typhoon affected areas…
But, he’s not letting me go.
Not beating him up for it because he lost his appetite afterwards.
I’ve always been set on standby for a lot of disasters since early this year though.
Except that there’s always enough people since we’re pretty huge of an organisation.
Plus, if I go, they’d better hire someone to take over me for that period.


Well, to end this off on a lighter note, my older bro posted a picture of him, me and my cousin (from the left) in FB this morning.
He said that my cousin’s, in the picture, mum sent it to him.
But, neither of us can recall this picture ever been taken.
Yeah.. that used to be one of my fave long dresses.
I would wear it often, until, it grew weary and tore of old age.

Good night. ^_^


❤ Icesabel


5 thoughts on “A little something for nothing

  1. Pingback: Crow and some facts | Ranting Crow


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