What I’ve learned about… guys.. in relationships

Just browsing around and my young uncle and friend re-posted the same post on “50 Things That Girls Should Know About Guys” in FB.

This might turn out to be a hilarious post, coming from a girl who might not know much, but, this IS about what I’ve learned so far.
😛
I guess some of the stuff that I’m about to say works both ways, so, yeah.. I’ll mention it if need be.

 


  • Say what you mean. DON’T beat around the bush with guys. A small percentage of them will try to decipher, but, most will just give you the empty look or continue with their daily task or talk as per normal without picking up any of your hints. If you want something, say it.
    — I’ve given up the art of hinting a long time ago, since I’m one who always wants the other person to understand what I’m trying to bring across. Yes, I’d have to admit that I have close to no patience on waiting for results.

  • Whatever your gender, one can either be too open or relaxed with a relationship or even get very serious in one and can become possessive.
    — Possessiveness might stem from a few reasons. Probably because of a past failed relationship or family issues and a lack of trust (which that person either has to rebuild him/herself else whatever relationship they’re in, else, it’s going to be filled with lots of problems) or compulsive behaviour of wanting to own anything/anyone or someone is low on confidence or even a phobia of losing something/someone.

  • A guy would sacrifice his time, money and energy, even getting into trouble just to make you happy, cheer you up or find you even when you want to hole up and cry alone. Yes, these guys DO exist.
    — This is a HUGE keeper. Even for those vice versa.

  • Some guys don’t really know what to do to make a girl happy or cheer her up when she’s crying. Sometimes, when a guy tries to pacify her, she might lash back. So, don’t hold a grudge on him for that.
    — But, if you do know what you want the guy to do, whenever it’s a good time, tell him what you’d like (just, don’t be outrageous at it). Ermm.. me.. all I’d want is a hug.

  • Not all guy know how to sweet talk and don’t expect all to be the romantic kind or do what actors do in the movies.
    — In fact, if they know how to sweet talk a little too much, either they’re experienced in courting and then leaving or.. well.. I don’t know.

  • As much as girls wanting to be assured that they are being loved, guys want the same too. Most (not all) guys are awful with words, but, it shows in their actions. The same goes for girls, not all girls are vocal either, but, actions of what you do will justify as well.
    — The very reason why you need to appreciate the littlest things in life.

  • Anything said weeks or months back should become null and void and should not be raked up in a future argument. The past is the past. If one has not learned his/her lesson back then and has repeat an occurrence, then, it’s time for a serious discussion to change or work things out and not have the same problem arising.
    — What is the point of bringing up the problems of the past and snowballing it instead of picking on the root of the problem and killing it at once and work it out. No one’s saying it’s going to be easy, but, it’ll be way better for everyone.

  • Don’t compare your significant other with another person. Not a model-looking person in real life, not a photo-shopped picture on a magazine/online, not all the awesome stories that you hear from others. Works both ways. If you don’t see him as good-looking in your eyes, you’re not in love with him enough. Love is blind, it is; it does not discriminate. It’s not only skin-deep, love is also about the traits and character of a person, if you’ve always wanted that partner who will always make you laugh, but, in reality you get someone who’s bad at jokes, just keep in mind why you’re attracted to the person in the first place. What was it, anyway? No one can tick off all bullet points of yours in your long list of a perfect partner.
    — Each person is unique and if you love all the quirks and flaws, all the better.

  • I keep reading that guys hate it when girls ask them if they look good or fat in something. I can’t vouch for the extra weight portion, but, I have to admit that I’ve asked how I look after I buy a new dress. What were you expecting? An acknowledgement of “yes”?
    — Well, my other half tells me straight whether it’s nice or not, so, at least I know if something doesn’t look that nice because, sure, at times, I do buy on impulse and it did look great when I first tried it in the fitting room. Then, I’ll slowly figure out what’s nice to wear or not, gauging on what he and I both like and can agree upon. But, if you’re after a “darling, you don’t look fat in that” and you start screeching at him saying “so, you’re saying I look fat in the other skirt” or “I still think I look ugly in these jeans”… /sigh… I’d go bonkers and clueless if I’m the guy too.

  • Don’t even start talking about your ex-boyfriend/love/whatever to a guy even if he’s a good listener. Even if you think you can handle it if he tells you about his exs, remember that the other person might not have your ideals about certain topics.
    — Back to the earlier point, don’t compare your current with your ex. Everyone is different.

  • This don’t only happen to guys, but, to girls too! Sending a text stating” You know what? Nevermind..”
    — We’re ripping our brains out on “nothingness” the whole day because of it. Don’t do that, even if it’s really eventually “nothing”. It was something to begin with and that’s why you started thinking about that something.

  • Guys love girls with brains more than girls wearing close to nothing. No matter how much guys talk about hotness or sex appeal, personality is key. Like? Yes. Stare and *ehem… you know*? Yeah. But, love? No. If a girl only goes for sexy clothes and pretty looks, it will eventually fade as she grow older and the guy will only either rove his eyes on younger ones – if they can get a pretty girl as a trophy, they can easily get another one later (you shouldn’t be with this person in the first place) or if the girl only depend on those features, she’s prone to being insecure and you’re in one heck of a roller coaster either way.
    — There are real beautiful girls who don’t even need to bare it all to show her confidence, beauty and intelligence. You’ll figure it out.

  • Once again, everyone is different. Just because one is a jerk/b*tch, it doesn’t mean that the whole species of his/her kind is too.

  • The biggest turn off for guys is to see girls smoking.
    — Same for me 😛 I can’t stand guys who smoke. I don’t mean to be rude, but, it would really choke me if I’m near someone who smokes. Have a sensitive nose.

  • If you’ve cut a few inches of your long hair, he’s not going to notice! I wouldn’t too if the hair is really long, in the end, it’s still long either way. lol.
    — Unfortunately, I don’t really notice smaller differences with my guy either, so, I guess this works both ways? Don’t sweat the insignificant small stuff (not the important small stuff though).

  • “Make me a sandwich”? lol. If you do notice that the girl has to go to work, clean the house, take care of the kids, do the finances, and she decides that she can’t or doesn’t want to cook? Don’t expect her to, even if it seems more attractive to you guys. Learn to appreciate her as well, and what she has done on her part, else, she’ll eventually bail out because you’re treating her like a maid or slave.
    — Weird thing is, a lot of guys can cook better than the girls. But, once in a while, cooking for your partner is just awesome. ❤

  • A guy would spend (or waste) a lot of his time over football or other sports or video games or whatever guy-hobbies that he adores, the same way a girl would… ermm… spend on make-up, nails, shopping and whatnot.
    — Well, I’m on both sides, since, I love soccer and video games as well as make-up and dresses. If you can spend time on your girl-hobbies, give him his space and me-time on the hobbies of his choice to just let out his steam or melt the stress of his everyday routine.

  • A lot of guys aren’t really vocal on a lot of issues or are even egoistic about what he has to handle, so, they might have as many problems or more than you, than you know it.
    — Unless, if you’re in a healthy and open relationship, whereby, both would talk about anything and everything and would help each other to fix a problem.

  • But sometimes, guys just want someone to listen to them when they open up. At times, not wanting an advice in return, because, they’d still prefer to rectify it in their own way, at their own time and expense.

  • If a guy really loves a girl, he will still love you for years afterwards even when he has moved on (although, at a lesser amount) until it really fades away entirely. The next girl might look uncannily like you or have your characteristics or features… until he starts noticing this trend and then tries to break off from the “cycle”, to move on.

  • He will tease you if he likes you.
    — It can get irritating if you’re not one who can take these jokes, as do I, but, you know, I’m also just as afraid that some day, I’ll start missing these irritating teases (should anything happen.. *touches wood*).

  • But once a guy voices out and wants to have a serious conversation or discussion with you, that’s it. You know it’s pretty serious.

  • Girls have a girls’ day out, so do guys (guys’ day out). Either way, do what you want with your mates.
    — Some do share their day’s event with their significant other. Not all. If your “private” time with your besties are sacred between you guys, go ahead as long as you keep it clean (if you understand what that means). If there is trust build within, then, let it stay that way. Just don’t even try to break that trust. Broken trusts either takes forever, or most certainly, never to be mended back.

  • If you have fantasies, share. It’s called the lurrrvvve language. lol~

  • If you have dreams and plans for your own career or family or whatever, he probably does too. If he loves you that much, then, plan together and meld both different/same plans together to make as many things possible happen.

 

Did I miss anything out? Hummm… probably. >_<

❤ Icesabel

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4 thoughts on “What I’ve learned about… guys.. in relationships

    • Oh? Maybe I like to notice and watch people a lot. Hmmm… Maybe it’s more of experience and also that I used to be a tomboy and guy friends would just tell me or act as though I’m one of them so they talk/do all the guy stuff out in the open in front of me, some things that they will not share with girls by default. :p

    • Actually, what that sentence meant was . Girls=girls day out , so guys= guys day out.

      Well, I think no matter how much girls try to say something, the deeper stuff is just hard to say in words.

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