The temperature of my body, that is.
Down with fever.
Knew that I’d eventually fall sick because of the events that has been happening lately.
Tired, but, I can’t sleep.
Burning myself out.
Don’t even know how I’ve been managing to smile while being so lethargic and sad inside.
Good thing is that my mom’s kind of approving of my other half.
She initially refused my money yesterday and I had to just go to my room so that she’d take it.
(I don’t know about most people, but, in my culture, the kids who are already working give their guardians money on a monthly basis. Although it’s not obligatory or that there’s any fast rule on the amount and whatnot.)
She knows that I’m saving up for my wedding by myself, whilst my older brother got partially sponsored by her.
Because, 1: she knows that I know she hates my other half; 2: I wouldn’t ask from her anything no matter what.
I’m the only one amongst my siblings to not ask anything from her for years.
Only because we can’t even face each other without chiding painful remarks or having months of a cold war after some random unavoidable quarrels.
We’re hot-headed egoistically maniac women of the house who cannot make direct eye contact.
Always manage to outwit me.
How in the world can I always win someone who’s a deep thinker like me, but, with more years of experience to outsmart her depth and level of knowledge?
But, if I do win a “conversation”, she’d throw a tantrum and tries to win with crying, start blaming me as though everything was my fault even though the facts are obvious.
I’ll probably end up being like her when I’m older.
All in all, I know as well as she knows that we love each other, even if we can only speak on a truce 5% of the time.
Anyway, this isn’t the problem.
Hopefully, things will get better.
I need more good news.
Hmmm… take it all in stride.