I’m flying back tomorrow afternoon.
As much as I enjoyed my stay here, I’m a little homesick.



I initially thought that I should’ve stayed at the hotel I was at during my work meeting.
I booked out straight after the meeting ended while everyone else stayed in the same hotel.
But, since I’ve already booked another nearby hotel for the weekend, I went ahead with it.
Seems pretty new and pretty gorgeous for a small room.
Been in the tub last night and… lol.. right this moment as I type? +_+

I went to a spa to get a Moroccan body wrap and an aromatherapy massage in the morning.
Loved it!
I have sensitive skin and with my raging hormones during the time of the month..
Was pretty happy that the breakout on my back were detoxed out.
Plus, made my skin smoother and moisturized!

They had their own chartered car, so, they sent me back to my hotel afterwards.
I was feeling pretty lazy and wanted to doze off, but, went out to a huge market 20 minutes away.
Soooooo many cheap things!
It’s like a mini Korean clothes galore, but, at a fraction of the price from anywhere.
Quality is good too!
By evening, the night market came alive and everything was even way cheaper than the normal cheap.

My arms were aching after walking around for hours, so, I took a non-conventional taxi back.
Just to feel the thrill of the vehicle swaying and the wind blowing my hair.
No idea why, but, I just needed that.
It’s like riding a motorbike, but, not exactly.
The driver kept going through dark alleys to take shortcuts.
The first one made me panic, but, I only asked him nicely about it.
He couldn’t speak much English, but, was nice enough to tell me places to eat or shop as we passed them by.
The main roads are always congested and I was expecting to be stuck in a traffic jam as usual.
But, was surprised at how we avoided 90% of it.
Just because my hotel was near the main road and we couldn’t avoid the last stretch.
So, I got my short trip of riding a swaying speeding vehicle!
Since, he was really nice, I tipped him.. a lot.

Anyway, I’ve been donating a lot.
Shuckss.. I really suck at this.
I mean.. 😥
I become all mushy when I see someone in need of help.
I see that a lot here.
If only I was rich.
Humm.. that’s the best I can do for now.

Oh yeah.. I wanted to say that.
One of the sweetest and FUNNIEST thing I’ve seen was to watch the guys buying stuff for their wife and kids.
Such awkward moments.
One even called his wife to ask if she wanted something he was eyeing on.
He should’ve just bought it and not worry about that portion.
But, I didn’t even know he was doing so until later, so, I couldn’t explain to him that it’d be sweeter to surprise his wife.
It’ll feel like.. “so do you want this or not?”..
Doesn’t sound sincere and you’re putting her in a spot.
What’s she supposed to say?
A “NO”?



The meeting was really fruitful.
I’ve asked the Pakistan and Indonesian managers to invite me over when they’re going to deploy a particular project next year.
Wanted to ask Afghanistan too, but, they’re doing it at the same time as Pakistan, so.. oh well.
Found out that my future boss, the regional manager, I still don’t know whether I’m now under HQ or local “authorities”, wants to do something else and will give up his seat in time to come.
The Nepal manager who as been with the organisation for 22 years casually and jokingly, told me that the seat is free for me in front of the rest.
I suck as a leader.
I mean.. I can’t be bothered to handle so much, even if I do get bored quickly.
My reply was only “you guys can go ahead”.

If I could vote, I’d vote the “general” senior manager to be the next one in line.
He’s more than capable.
I remember him asking about the hierarchy system, which was so short, that, where else can he go to except going after my future boss’ spot.
Although, I would think twice before accepting him to be my boss.
It’ll feel like being in the army.

I finally got my answer to why they hired me and it was the sweetest thing ever.
‘Cause one of the HQ managers was there and he was one of them who interviewed me, apart from my future boss and the regional HR director.
Even the general added in something else.
Unfortunately, the whole team heard it as well, but, that’s as far as it’ll go.
I was speechless after being so noisy.
I’ll definitely always remember what they’ve told me though.

All my life, I don’t expect people to look up to me.
I like to be the wallflower.
At the back-end doing what I’ve always wanted to do at that moment.
I’ve definitely evolved and aren’t so quiet as I used to be.
My brain has always been shouting out, but, I never allowed my mouth or hands/fingers “speak” out openly.
At times, I think that I’ve been speaking my mind a bit too much.

The first person to tell me to open my eyes and let myself be heard left a few months back.
I’ve always thought that I was a good listener for others, but, I didn’t expect anyone to be a listener (to me).
He said that there were a lot of people who are willing to listen and wanted me to speak up.
As if they knew I was holding back.
Truthfully, I can never see myself as someone like so.
To tell anyone what to do.
At most, I’d advise discreetly.
Because I know well enough that there is always someone better than me in many ways and in levels I cannot reach.

The other country senior managers constantly sought for my advise or help, even when they have years of experience in the field and organisation.
And.. I feel like.. crap.
I feel like running away or telling them.. I’m not worthy of being asked.
But, I can never do that.

When I know nuts about something, I’d say so, but, would eventually get an answer to it.
But, I can’t be like my future boss.
I don’t have his level of patience or his forte at handling people.
I’ve still got the youth blood of rebelliousness and impatience.
Sometimes, I just want to shake off responsibilities and break the rules.

If you were to ask me, I feel honored to be here as a girl in a man’s territory.
I respect all of them in the same way.
Such humble people!
I am nowhere close to being one.

I don’t want to be what people expect me to be.
I want to do what I want to.
Seems childish.. but, that’s how I enjoy the calm waters underneath the waves.
If I’m brought up to that level, then, I’m expected to act like one.
And I’m not ready to do so.
I know that eventually, I’d want that when I’m much older.
But, not now.



Life is full of surprises.
It really is.

❤ Icesabel


3 thoughts on “^_^

  1. Speaking your mind is one thing speaking to others what should be on their mind is very different. I cannot do that either. Love making long noses to the boss to much.
    Well have a safe trip home tomorrow. I am back to some writing I hope.

  2. Glad things have been good. In a man’s domain you have to shout that little bit harder just to be heard, so maybe being a little noisy is no bad thing! Looks like you’re finally being recognised. Go with it! Safe travels home x

    • My noise was just random jokes and talking to people about non-working stuff. I actually didn’t speak out so much to be heard.

      I’ve grown used to having people (strangers) judge me to not do what I do over the years. It was more of what I did at work, even without me speaking much, they were expecting me to speak more, just because I’m in the regional office, even though I have lesser experience than some of them.

      I guess it depends on where you are and who you work with. There are still some egoistic men who would refuse to recognize a woman’s work or consult one. But, I think I’m blessed to work with men who aren’t like so. ^_^ And they are way more humble than I can rate myself or anyone I’ve worked with outside of where I work at right now.

      Thanks for the encouragement. ❤ I hope you get the same as well!!! Do you?


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