Blah

Such contradiction.

Being me, I actually hate studying.
But, I love learning!!
Yet, I’m thinking of taking up a few courses.
Not because I don’t know the subjects.
But for the sake of having to place them into my nonsense list of what I’m supposed to hold on to.

It’s still tough on me and having to keep remembering those days when I was kicked about because I was not certified to do this and that.
Experience? “I don’t believe you (because you’re a girl).”
Lower pay than a guy because they think my intellectual ability is lower. (truth – based on life experience)
If a guy lied, they’d still go through with it. No. Seriously.
You’d have to walk in my shoes to feel the pain.
It will never stop.
Didn’t I even mention about it when I went for the IT Emergency training a few weeks back?

So.. I’m searching all over for some courses to place those certs into a filed kept far within my cold dark cupboard.
Still not sure whether it’d even benefit me in reality.
Because whether I’m certified or not, or even experienced, one glance and I’m deemed as the odd one out who is supposed to be in the extreme background and not welcomed in the field you guys have command and conquered for years.

Oh well, I’m not here to whine so much.
That’ll be enough (for now) lol~
I guess I’ll be taking a course or two soon.
See how it goes from there.

I’m actually aiming to join the heights of the humanitarian team.
But, this will be my back up if somehow that doesn’t work out.

The real reason why there aren’t many girls here.
You have to really toughen up and be like the guys to survive.
If it wasn’t for my passion, I would’ve stayed being a quiet and meek little girl who wouldn’t mind standing at the back and being left behind and live a boring repetitive “stuck in a comfort zone” life and be just like all the other girls.
O_o
meh…

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