I first saw Lindsey Stirling’s music vids due to some links that’s tagged as gaming music of some sort.

Watched this vid and I think it’s one awesome piece.



Before her, there was one lady who inspired me in music to continue playing the first musical instrument I learned by myself, the keyboard.
I used to love writing songs when I was very young.
But, being in a time where life was tough and my strict mother who doesn’t like seeing me doing anything else other than studying, I gave this up as time went by.

I never really thought about it, but my “debut” in performing on stage was when I was 8.
I really can’t recall how it happened.. as in.. why the performance happened in the first place.
But, a couple of my classmates and me did a “models catwalk” with our nicest set of clothes on stage.
Embarrassing… now that I think of it.
Mine was this awesome safari shirt and shorts set my mum *ta-da* bought for me.
Random stuff.
During my teens, I did dance performances with friends on stage..
I remember there was one singing session with 1 guy playing the guitar with another girl friend singing with me.

When I played and performed on the flute later on and sang in the choir, she was always against it, and only once did she come to my performances.
One performance after all those years… I was happy but sad at the same time.
Same goes when I was an avid runner from young until I was in my mid teens, but for that, never once did she attend any of them.
My medals and trophies meant nothing to her.
Also when I performed a couple of opening events in martial arts.
None of which did she attend.
Back when I loved to draw a lot in my youth, she would tell me it’s all a waste of time…
Even when I asked if she could come to my school to see my art works been chosen and pasted on the walls.
Hmm.. I was one lonely girl who had no one to share my happiness with *forever alone*
It didn’t make me stop doing what I wanted to try or do.
She did ask me to give up and concentrate on studying, but, that was the beginning of the rebellious me.
But, it sure does feel sad whenever I think about it.
Can’t say my studies were bad either.
But, it too, felt weird when I showed her that I got awards in English and literature… she couldn’t care less.
I actually enjoyed studying back then too.
Not because she wanted me to study but because I love learning… still do. XD

I just wanted someone to share my happiness with.
She can never be proud of me.
While my friends envied me.. I can only give a tiny smile.
They don’t know how I really feel all the time… I feel like the most lonely girl in the world.
Always hoping to see her there.. but she never did.

I did these because I loved trying new things and was my only outlet to do what I thought I could.
While everyone else in school took up the main 2 projects in Art for O levels, me and another girl took up fashion design.
Another eye-opening experience.
During those years, a group of friends and I wrote and made a CD compilation for our school…
Also performed the main song piece.
That was my second time being in a music studio.
The first, was another girl and I sung for a children-learning CD for a company.
Can’t recall the name of the company though.
I think all that would ever make her look was grade As.
As I went into my 20s, I realized that studying my degree was a total waste of time.
I’d should’ve harnessed what I could’ve done instead of just studying.

Deep inside, I would give up my ability to do IT with all these others.
Somehow, it probably would’ve been more fun doing so.

Doing IT thingys was the “latest” hobby I had, something I could grasp upon..
Since I was already at an age where I can choose my career path.
Thus, I embarked on a journey to make that dream come true.

But, I have many other dreams I’d like for them to come true.



Anyway, the lady is called Vanessa Mae.
And this song has been an inspiration to me (in music) for many years.



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