Worry… much?


Sometimes I worry too much.
Today’s one of those days.

I’ve always wondered what I’d really want to do.
Maybe a little afraid that I don’t want to do something that might affect me in the future.
But then again, how would I even know how the future will turn out to be.
When I delved into IT, I had a feeling that I might suffer in different aspects of myself.
In many ways, I adore pampering myself.
In short, I listen to myself whenever I feel like it.

Anyway, I read this a long time ago but remembered about it again.

Let’s begin based on those assumptions that were written in that article.

I have somewhat very little patience.
I get too excited.. too tired.. too overwhelmed.. too lazy.. or simple just not in the mood.
Like I’ve always said, people create more problems than technology would.
My blood boils easily but I’ve learned to hold back.
Although I think it isn’t enough compared to an average person.

Well, I love learning.
I love reading or watching videos with a steep learning curve.
BUT, there will be times when I just want to turn myself away from technology for some time.
Something like a hiatus to just get away from it all.

Refusing to work outside 9-to-5 and turning off my phone at night?
I don’t have a company mobile phone.
But I don’t turn my personal phone off.
In fact, I have a tendency not to even pick up my phone when non-colleagues call me.
Not on purpose but I’d rather sms to reply rather than call back.
First of all, my contract states that I work 9-5 and most people only work during those hours.
I don’t get OT and although I might have to come back for emergencies once in a blue moon…
Which I would still naturally attend to, of course..
Unless it’s a true blue emergency.. the REALLLLL one… I won’t attend to it.
It’s my time off.
While some would do some work during their vacation.
I won’t do any.
If I’ve worked and stressed myself to no end during working hours.
I deserve that break and I will get my time off.

I’m a loner but that doesn’t mean I hate people.
I just enjoy my me-time longer than the average person.
I don’t necessarily support people.
If I can get things done on the back end before the front end shows something, it’ll make my day.
I support technology as much as I support people.
They need technology to do work.
I don’t know why they don’t take care of the things that they need.
My home mobo worked incredibly awesome for the past 4 years or so.
Although I did upgrade the graphic card once and changed to a higher voltage power supply.
But nothing else changed and it’s still great playing MMO games.. until now.. sniff sniff.

I give up in a c0uple of different situations but in IT, if there’s a will, there’s a way.
If I had constantly given up, I wouldn’t have learned so much all these years.
Sure, I keep leaving companies, but, only because I wanted a different challenge every time.
I lose interest and get bored eaily.

I do agree that multi-tasking is important to get things done at any one point in time.
But it’s just as necessary to put your focus on something that needs your full attention just as well.
Times like when fixing a huge server/network issue needs all of me to get it fixed.
Programming and designing too.
Once I’m doing those and you disrupt me, I might.. most probably lose my cool.
Let me play with my toys and games!
Disturbing me is a NO-NO!

I do want to be on the top of the ladder.
Unfortunately, I constantly have no idea which direction I wish to go to.
Ending up not doing or aiming for the right thing again and again.

Now, for my own thoughts.

I tend to often wonder what will happen if I joined the techie world.
If I’d have a tough time when I wanted to have a kid some day.
I can’t run around carrying desktops or ladders while I’m pregnant.
Although, when an ex boss warned me not to wear dresses or skirts or jewelry whilst on the job.
I know it’s due to the job nature but I defied that rule.
Sure, I don’t wear my 3-4 inch high heels anymore but I wear anything I wish to.
Still get the work done AND still be a lady about it.

Anyway, if I ever get pregnant or a kid…
I’d probably find a company that takes care of their employees.
Else, I’d find something else to do.
Part-time? Freelance?
Maybe move to consultancy?

I realised that I’ll only have my youth once and if I don’t relish the benefits of my age…
I might regret in the future that I never tried this and that.
I’m truly glad I’m where I am in some ways.
‘Cause this was my dream when I was in my teens!!!!!
No regrets!

Thus, I can do the next thing in my long list of what I’d like to do.



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