Quiiiiiiit Gaming

It’s been 2 weeks since I logged in but.. hmmm..
I just heard about the guild in DN issues.
Not that I really know what happened but there were some quarrels and AikawaKazu and his followers left.
Guild leader is quitting DN.
I actually don’t really care about DN anymore.
7 months in that guild.
(If I’m not wrong) Started to play the game 3 months before that.


Games should be as they are…. just games.
Sure, there are times when it does control my life, but, sooner or later.. I’ll start to be in a phase where it’ll become a past time.
Literally left in the past.

The longest run of MMORPGs would be MU Online and FlyFF, 3 years each, on and off.
Even WOW and Diablo 2 lost out at 2 years before I gave up.
Aion at 1 year.
The rest lasted for months.. weeks or even merely days.

If it’s about other genres, Warcraft’s sequels lasted me years.
I love them!
I never got sick of Command and Conquer’s and Quake’s running sequels.
Age of Empires’ sequels were among my favs too.

People ask whether when I quit a game, that I’d regret something.
A time loss or a waste of money or anything of that sort.
I’ve always given some thought to that topic.
The answer has always been “no regrets”.

Gaming is not just gaming.
If you even understand what I’m trying to say.
Gaming can be a part of your life but you shouldn’t let it control your life.
Not in the position to say that though.
It has controlled my life a lot of times.
But after a while, I’ll press the time off button.

It can be an addiction.
To escape from reality.
To be someone else or do something you can’t in real life.

I’ve been through phases where I forget to eat.. forget to sleep.. forget the real world.
Immersed in another dimension for way too long.
Gaming was one of the cause of my past relationship problems.. depression.. loss of RL friends.

Although it didn’t directly cause failure in studies.
I was a perfectionist in studying and the only time I ever failed in my life was whilst taking my final year in my banking and finance degree.
Sure, part of it was the consequence of depression during the last year, which, was partly caused by gaming, the rest was family/money/relationship issues.
But, I hated studying finance in the first place and it has always been a hell hole for me.
WAS a perfectionist.
I’ve lost quite a big chunk of my perfectionism since I graduated.

I can never really blame gaming because it was my haven since I was young.
Not close to my family.. don’t get me wrong.. I love them to bits.. but we’re just the kind who’ll do our own thing.
How can I regret when I’ve grown so fond of it all throughout my living years?
Used to have EXs or even friends who have tried to stop me from gaming.
But, at the end of it all, I grew frustrated at how people wanted me to change.. all for their own reasons.. none of mine.
If they didn’t like a girl gamer then there’s an extremely huge population of non-gamer girls out there!

But gaming…
No matter how many times I try to quit, I keep going back.


One of my fav old time songs… Right Here from Staind



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