Dreams… My dreams…

I’ve been too excited and had been overwhelmed with the aura of passionate people around me last week, that, I’d like to start dreaming and then, realising that dream into reality in time to come.

I was at a certain Global Annual Meeting last week and I loved it! Initially, I felt that I was being “forced” to attend. Only because, I thought that I wouldn’t enjoy it. I was proven wrong!

Long story short, I’ve a vision of creating a new job scope! Yes. Nothing new actually. My first job scope 4 years back was the first to be created in the organisation. Then, when the position shifted, a new job scope was created last year. But, this time around, I’d like to be the one to initiate it. >_<

It’d be a totally new job. Well, not new outside of the org, but, there isn’t one to begin with here. I don’t even know why I’m excited over this, when I haven’t even started having discussions with the big guys yet. XD

I don’t even know why I’m starting to get bored of the mundane cycles of my current job. Argh! That’s the problem with me. My short span of attention and being easily bored by routines kills me internally. Sure, there are some changes as of late. But, it isn’t enough to entice my tastebuds.

I can’t exactly leave the org to pursue my so-called new dream because I’ve techically “signed a bond” with a director that I’d take up a one-year certification (which will also lead towards the path where I’d like to go). Shucks… One year of night classes. I’m going to get exhausted again.

I’ll have to write something out for my proposal career plan and then… see how it goes. After the excitement has mellowed down, I’ll probably get a more clearer picture of the whole gist.

Alrighty then… Gambatte!!!!
<3 Icesabel


Saw a post online, advising teachers not to ask about a student’s father’s job/status/etc, to break the ice. It ignites sensitive topics.

I’ve forgotten all about this until this was brought up. But, when I was younger and was filling up generic application forms for a job, there’s a high probability that it’d include a compulsory portion of asking what your parent’s job is.

I dreaded that! I’m not close to my parents. It’s how my life is. After my dad left his long-serviced job as a lecturer in a technical institution, he kept changing jobs, that even my mum can’t keep up with where he works at. Being me… I can’t and don’t want to place a random answer under that question. Was different when it came to answering about my mum. She was a nurse for 40 years before retiring.

I was wondering the necessesity in asking what my elders were doing. What if I wasn’t priviledged enough to have a known family aka orphan or from a broken family? I’d be feeling even worse, if I hadn’t taught myself to be insensitive to such blatant questions. My grandpa worked as a security guard and later a cleaner. Honest jobs. They had a hard life. Does that equate to who I would turn out to be or which path I’d take?

Even if I was born with a silver spoon, would that matter? I’ve known grounded rich kids who’d go after their dream jobs from scratch.

As I’ve mentioned before. Paper qualifications is just one aspect. Did it occured to some that maybe, like my mum, she couldn’t go for further studies because of the lack of money in a big family. Does that dictate her intelligence or ability in work and life? She travelled to Europe on her own, in the 80s despite it all. Even I haven’t travelled that far!

However, because of this topic, it struck me that I’d probably had the extra stats in technical work due to my dad. My mum might be the intellectual one, but, she isn’t tech savvy in any way. She doesn’t even own a mobile phone. My dad doesn’t use a pc either, but, he was teaching engineering back when I was still a little kid, watching him with these weird big machines, teaching late-teens these boring technical stuff.

I was wondering where I got that touch or love for hardware components from. Or maybe, that’s just my need to correlate with someone in my bloodline. /shrugs

Anyway, back to the topic. I don’t think asking about someone’s parents is necessary. There should at least be an option to skip that.
<3 Icesabel

What is your level of Colour Vision Deficiency?

I’ve always been pissed off, when people say the “wrong” colour hue of what I see.
Somehow, a lot of people see different colours from me.
For instance, my fave cat at my mum’s place.
She’s gray and white.
My mum insists that the kitty is brown.
Why does my grandfather-in-law calls my orange cat, “Red”??!!!!
Even my hubby would see a different hue on some things.

Since, I have no patience to do this: The Farnsworth-Munsell 100 hue color vision test
I did this instead: Farnsworth D15 arrangement test

Results show that, I’ve got a normal colour vision.

The test above simulates the D-15 dichotomous test which was introduced by Farnsworth in 1947. It aims to divide people into two groups. Slightly colorblind and not colorblind people which pass the test and all others who fail it.

Colorblind people will arrange the colors not in the correct order but parallel to one of the three confusion lines: protan, deutan, and tritan. Vingrys and King-Smith developed in 1988 a scoring method based on color difference vectors. This way it is possible to quantify the type of color blindness by you personal confusion angle and the severity through the confusion index.

  • Confusion Angle: The angle identifies your type of color vision deficiency. An angle above +0.7 degrees points towards a protan defect, between +0.7 and -65 a deutan defect and bellow that a tritan defect.
  • Major and Minor Radius: The ratio of those two numbers results in the S-index.
  • Total Error Score: Combining the two radii into a score of total error. The TES ranges from around 11 up to about 40 for strong vision deficiencies.
  • Selectivity Index: This ratio shows the parallelism of the confusion vectors to your personal confusion angle. A low ratio—below 2—can either mean you have no color deficiency or you ordered the squares randomly. High numbers—up to 6 and even higher— show high parallelism.
  • Confusion Index: The ratio between your major radius and the major radius of a perfect arrangement. People with normal color vision or slightly colorblind persons have a ratio below 1.2. The higher this number grows—up to above a ratio of 4—the more severe is your color blindness.

The table below shows some average results taken from a study with 120 colorblind and not colorblind people.

Not that it’ll make me feel any better, because, I’d still get pissed with anyone who sees a different hue or colour, altogether!!!!
Sorry, if that makes me sound like a “coloursist” -.-” (whatever it’s called)!

<3 Icesabel

July Fave Products

W000t Wooot!!!
Love love love these products!

Let’s start with toiletries.

Innisfree’s Super Volanic Clay Mousse Mask (right).

Honestly, the only other 5-mins mask that I’d use is my fave Vichy Tri-Activ 3-in-1 cleanser.
*Which I use daily, before I start my shower and do a good scrub with water and wash it off after it has dried (I won’t allow water to splash my face while I shower, as I wait for it to dry in under 5 mins).*

But, this Innisfree’s mask is used once or twice a week.
It has a super creamy and thick consistency, similar to a luxurious expensive mask.
Except that, it comes out of a mousse bottle (instead of the messy tub version)!
A little goes a long way, so, press lightly!!!!!
It does draws out all the impurities and leaves my skin feeling squeaky clean.
No dry or tight feeling… just, feels as though I’ve vacuumed my pores… lol~
Well, I have no other idea on how to describe that feeling.

Been using this for 2 months now.

Lush’s Veganese, Hair Conditioner.

Have I mentioned before that I don’t use hair conditioners?
I’ve tried so many brands, but, ALL would cause acne to erupt on my body skin.
Since, I have baby fine hair, most brands would weigh it too much anyway (I only use it at the ends though).

I was afraid to try another hair conditioner, but, I wanted to try a new shampoo (will talk about it in a moment) and was afraid that it would dry out the ends, so, I gave the smallest bottle a try.
Oh yes, baby… I’m buying a bigger bottle, after it’s down to nothing.

All the hair conditioners and masks I’ve tried, my whole lifetime (what a waste of my money :'(), will leave residue on my shoulders, chest, back… and… my butt.. lol~, no matter how long and as properly as I can to wash it off and dry.
These acne feels painful sometimes and they take months to heal or disappear.
But so far, this hair conditioner is doing well on not doing so.

The difference in this one is that it doesn’t have that silicone-y feeling, like those conditioners have.
It feels more like slapping on yoghurt into my hair ends!
Super light and hmmmmm…. gotta love the scent!

Lush’s Seanik

I’ve been a solid shampoo convert for about 4 months now.
My first and only solid shampoo was the Jumping Juniper (Not exactly a nice scent in my opinion. It isn’t bad, but, just not my type of scent).
But, my hair got quite used to it, that my hair was going back to being limp and my scalp back to being super oily.

So, I decided to give Seanik a try.
It has sea salt for volumizing oily hair, but, since I was afraid that that property would dry out my hair ends, I got the conditioner above.
I love this scent though.


Let’s move on to make-up.

Lancome Maqui Blanc Miracle (O-03)

It’s not easy to find a compatible foundation for my skin.
All because of my sensitive skin, that would just refuse anything that it decides to hate.
Was a devout to Lancome Mat Miracle 24H Liquid Foundation for 2 years.
No matter what brands and types I’ve tried, I always run back to this one.
A perfect blend for my weird skin combination, hands down.
Might not be a fave for others, but, it sure is my skin’s fave.

But last month, the product was used up and the Sephora that I went to didn’t have stock for this, so, I decided to try something new.
I wanted to try YSL’s, but, I wasn’t in the mood to try a totally new foundation.
Saw that Lancome Maqui Blanc Miracle had my shade (O-03) in stock, so, I grabbed it without a second thought.

Oh my my my…
I’m converting to this one now.
It literally corrects a dull-looking skin and gives it a glow.
I wasn’t looking for a matte foundation (contrary to how quickly my face becomes a frying pan).
But, it neither cause my skin to breakout nor make my skin any oilier than it should look.
It makes my skin look more to dewy, rather than an oily pan.

Here’s a tip on blotting oily skin (from my experience) — you’ve probably never heard it from anyone before:
I don’t use blotting papers (It’ll cause my skin to be oilier than it was earlier!).
Neither do I use powder for touch-ups (Yucks! Hate the cakey feeling and look).
My face is so oily after an hour or two, that I can just rub the powder/foundation around my face with my fingertip and make it perfect again.
Ok ok… back to the point.
I would moist tissue paper (clean toilet paper would do, if you’re in the wash room) and lightly (extremely light, because we’re not supposed to be picking up the powder/foundation, but, just blotting the oil) blot the oily regions.
The feeling is just heavenly!
It’s cooling and it absorbs enough oil to look a little matte.
But, just enough to not cause the oil glands to work overtime afterwards!

I didn’t learn this from anyone.
It was a random stupid thought that came across my mind one day (years back), because, I was pissed off and tired of trying so many things that didn’t work for my skin combi.
Plus, the weather was hot and needed to cool down my skin.

Tarte’s Amazonian clay waterproof 12-hour concealer (light)

I was afraid of trying a stick concealer (for a long time), because they usually dry up my skin, especially, the sensitive skin under the eyes.
I’ve been using Tarte’s maracuja creaseless concealer for a very long time, but, decided… “heck… let’s try this for a change!”

But with this stick, I’d only need to dot a little on any face demons and actually, don’t even need foundation on my skin!
Doesn’t cause breakouts and won’t budge on my oily skin.
It’s a dream to use!
Swish swish… like a magic wand~


<3 Icesabel

Pixels Movie

Not exactly in the mood to blog… but, I’ll just say a few words.

Pixels Movie?
3.5 out of 5.
It was alright.
Not much of a storyline.
Just that, it’s nice to see video games IRL (come to life).

Forgotten to blog the other day that, the Ant Man movie was a 5/5!
It was heart-warming, funny and action-packed.
Loved it!

We had dinner and watched Manchester United’s game afterwards.
*Nope.. I am NOT a fan of ManU. I don’t really mind any teams except ManU. +_+*
I didn’t watch anyway.
Food was pretty good, although, very expensive.

Picture before going to Giant to get food supply for the cats and going home afterwards.

<3 Icesabel

MCR says…

“I’m not okay.”

No, I’m not okay. Been keeping quiet about it for some time. 2 couples who got married after us, are pregnant now. Me… Depressed. I know I lost it months back. I gained 5kg and nausea for weeks then. Doc said that I wasn’t, after checking it negative. She said I was just being happy and told me to keep that normal weight. Happy to feel like vomiting a few times in a day, every single day???!!! I was pissed. My weight has never even hit more than an extra of 2kg, my whole life. That was a whole 5kg. As if I don’t know my own body well enough.

I went to the doc a few weeks back, she said that I’d have to remove the cats’ toilet out of our bedroom, if I didn’t want complications. My mum already advised me earlier. But, it was already a problem, that, we didn’t have a place to stay earlier. I wouldn’t want to give problems to others.

Although, I do believe that things happen for a reason, can’t help, but,  feel so down right now. Some were rubbing salt in my wound by asking when I was going to have a kid. I feel like dying inside.

Only another woman who has gone through what I’m going through will know how depressing it feels like. So, if you’ve not been there, please don’t say anything to me. 
</3 Icesabel 

Part and parcel of it

Whilst still blur in the morning, we were all called in for an emergency meeting.
He said that an earthquake just occurred.
5 mins after settling down, he said it was a simulation.
But, there was a full-fledged simulation over at the “affected” country.
They had their power switched off for an hour.

I was tensed up a little… since, I’m not a morning person.
The last earthquake emergency, in Nepal, was actually still fresh in my mind.
Remember being called in on that weekend and a lot of things happening at the same time.

We went through a similar drill (more like an episode) to what really happened a few months back.

I realised that there were quite a big number of issues that weren’t looked at.
Our office was only opened for 4 years and we had only handled one CAT1 (Haiyan, Philippines) typhoon and one CAT 2 (Nepal) earthquake.
Went back to the 2 IT managers in both countries to ask them, what they wish they had, to ensure a more efficient and organised/effective emergency response.
Both of whom, went to the emergency preparedness training overseas together with one from Pakistan, one from Afghanistan and me, 2 years back.
God… is something going to happen in the other 2 countries?
Hmm… something is already happening though.

Training is just that… training…
If, we still didn’t have help from the other departments, budget and outside corps, when a real problem occurs.

Even on a normal basis, most places (companies/organisations) don’t look into IT.
It’s true that I always feel left out.
I, as in, being part of IT.
People forget we exist.
Until, something happens.

In both situations, other than problems with shortage of non-living things.
What they lacked the most was even caring that IT needed more hands.
Plus, they need to be CAPABLE techies.
Not just from overseas or neighbouring countries.

Anyway, 2 of the regional directors had a “cultural exchange” and the one from West Africa was here for a few weeks.
I actually learned quite a bit from her.
The horror stories of Ebola’s response.
Not about the deaths, actually.
Portions where the media and the rest of the world (organisations) never spoke of.
Of course, the culture and whatnot.
Plus being ladies, stuff that only we talk amongst ourselves.

There’s another girl in IT from the Africa region.
The number of girls in IT (lest, even in Asia itself) isn’t significant at all, what more, those from a higher position.

I did learn one thing about me.
These responses excite me… a lot.
Sure… I hate mornings… but, I’d be geared up for them.
Of course, we don’t want them to happen.
But, issues like natural disasters aren’t exactly controllable or predictable.

The things that profit-making companies cannot offer me.
I have to admit, sometimes, I do feel sad looking at the money I bring in.
(If I had continued with the job a few months back, I could afford more holidays abroad and pay off stuff.. being me… giving away more money — you know… games to gamers and the rest to charity… probably why I know I’d never be rich).
When I know the reality of the possible choices out there.
But, I don’t feel fulfilled.

When people talk to me and ask me about topics geared towards work.
I always tell them one thing.

Do what makes you most happy.

<3 Icesabel

State of panic

I was told that I come from a cancer-stricken lineage.
Although, I can’t remember who were the ones who had passed away due to that (but, I know there were a few).
It was only natural that, I panicked when I felt a little lump on my chest this morning.
The clinic that I’d usually go to didn’t have a lady doctor on standby today.
So, I had to go to the one near my mum’s place (where I used to go, when, I was younger) instead.
Checked that it was negative.

When I was younger (in my teens), my mum placed a small poster of how to check the chest area in the bathroom.
I didn’t even have an A-cup size boobs back then, but, I would randomly “check” for the fun of it.
The older one gets, the more susceptible it is to obtain these kinds of problems.
Luckily, I don’t have paranoia… was just being cautious.
But, just the thought of the start of a domino effect made me feel a little weak.

My hubby was so sweet to Google for me the numbers to call the 2 clinic receptions and buy me breakfast for brunch, for when I get back from the clinic.
How can he be so calm, when, I was panicking?!!!

</3 Icesabel