La… lalalala…

There are 2 things that I truly want to do, in this lifetime. (Apart from the one I want after this).

Unfortunately, I suck at one and I’m just starting out on the other. Oh great… πŸ˜’ I sound dumb right now. Not sure whether my period is coming (pms kicking in) or it’s the meds, because, I’m sick today.

I know that I can’t have both. Neither do I have the luxury of time to invest in the fore. If only I could turn back time and change something. πŸ˜–

I don’t mind living in the glory of the latter, but… well… if it’ll ever come to fruition, that is. Here I am… wondering how… why… when… etc. Then I remembered the time when I was 15. When I knew nuts of what I wanted to do. Following my instinct to do something, of a working field, that is still pretty new in the 90s. Without anyone to look up to or any direction, I jumped into the bandwagon. Best decision ever… rocky road ahead, but, I got what I wanted, which is where I am now. Now that I’m tired of walking this pathway and planning to shift, I’m forced to wonder again. This time, with more uncertainty, as I have more responsibilities, at hand.

What I want to do next isn’t exactly a mainstream dream. There isn’t a safety net borne with it. It’s like going after a wild chase of what could be nothing and probably, a dangerous road. I asked myself as to why and all that voice ever replied with was the thrill.

I hope that some day, in the far future, I’ll be able to write in direct translation of where I’m heading to. Thing is, people can only see the waves of my sea. Planning to keep that way until I can get to where I wish to be. Until then, I guess I have to work my ass off from the bottom again and hope for the best.

Blah…
❀ Icesabel

Friday Off Day

Was planning for a longer trip on Friday, but, I was caught with fever on Thursday evening.

I eventually went out to Haji Lane to have lunch (tried out a new restaurant I read about online) in the late afternoon and bought my birthday dress at Bugis. Went home after that, though. Felt too groggy.

Still sick with flu and sore throat today… I don’t exactly have the mood to do anything. Even watching youtube, in bed, makes me feel sick. 😭

Oh… about the birthday dress…

Well, every year, I buy a new set of clothes specially for my birthday. So, I won’t use it until on my birthday and after that. 😬 No idea why, but, it makes me happy every year. πŸ˜‚ 
❀ Icesabel

HOTA

Human Organ Transplant Act.

I think I did receive the forms to opt-out years back, but, I can’t remember what I selected. 😐 It had been made an auto opt-in unless you decide to opt-out of donating your organs after you passed on.

It caused some people to be upset after finding out that their next of kin’s organs were to be donated, even though the family refuted. It felt more like their posession is being taken away without consent, due to lack of awareness, that it’s being set as auto opt-in for everyone. Most of whom, my fellow brothers and sisters in Islam, who’d prefer to opt-out. As there seems to be 2 school of thoughts, on whether it is permissible.

It is not wrong for one to choose whether you’d wish or do not wish to donate. It’s your choice. πŸ‘πŸΌ

Just an informed choice to eradicate the feeling of violation of rights.

Personally, I wouldn’t mind, if it’d help someone (In fact, indirectly helping their family. Who knows, they’re the only breadwinner?). Well, since I can’t even donate blood due to being underweight (all my life), in addition to being hypoglycaemia. πŸ˜–

Lots of love, all. Please do not condemn on either choice and only be biased to one end. There’s a thing called choice, what we believe in and respect to others’. πŸ’•

❀ Icesabel

Quiet down sadness… shhh…

Too much info from different sources and honestly, I don’t care anymore.

Some directors want to talk to me, but, I’ve decided to try to avoid them for the next 2 weeks and then, “enjoy” my 3 weeks of leave for the rest of the year. Heh.. have an exam to study right before my birthday.

It’ll be fruitless, for sure. Waste of my time. If they’ve already planned what they want, then, go ahead. I’m out of here. Draining my energy and nothing but negativity is coming from this. Do what you want, people. I’m not being heard anyway. Most of us aren’t.
</3 Icesabel

Food and chill

That ackward moment when I have a craving for chocolate earlier today (not a fan of chocs, as, just a bit of choc gives me a headache), something is up. The life of a hypoglycemic. 😞
I had taken leave every friday, thus, the “chillax” moments that I’ve been posting. Forgotten to post yesterday’s.

Woke up in the afternoon, so, my plan to go museum-hopping was cancelled. Instead, decided to just walk around mindlessly.

Oh wait… I did shop at H&M. Just 3 tees, since, the Black Friday sale was on. πŸ˜†

❀ Icesabel

PSLE Results?

My news feed was filled with stories of about 12-year-olds obtaining their PSLE results.
Some who were giving out reminders to parents not to be so hard on their kids.
Was it just a few weeks/months back where some kid committed suicide due to the pressure of needing to get good results?

Now, the news on a mum who didn’t like it that her kid didn’t get the score of 250 even though he obtained 4As!

Based on my personal experience, I was a mediocre student who had lousy results for PSLE and got into a neighbourhood school which was notorious for being filled with “lazy”, “not so intelligent” and “those who would beat up other school kids” kids.
Appeals for other schools were declined due to my blah results.
So blah, that, I could’ve been dropped to Normal Academic instead of Express, but, was given a choice, though. They said that I’ll probably be able to cope if I go for the Normal stream. Hah!

Ok… my score was just 197.πŸ˜„

Before taking my “O”Levels, my accounting teacher told me to drop that subject because I was getting “F”s most of the time and it would be “better” for me to have a list of results without an F in it.
Thanks, teachhhh.
Because of you, within 3 months of self-study, I got a B on that subject for my finals, ’cause I felt insulted. >_> I think it’s more of that she doesn’t want her name to be smudged with a failed student in her list.
All self-study and still do so, whilst working… always a learning experience.
I’m in IT, afterall.
You don’t want to fall 10 steps back with some old technology, do you?

Once, I was forced to go for a generic tuition weekend class for maths for a year.
Even though I was always getting A or B for maths, without that.
In fact, I didn’t even like their curriculum for maths, because, it was targetted for the elite schools and I didn’t even need that to score an A in my mediocre maths exams.
Can’t recall why I had to take that class. +_+
But, I enjoyed the time spent with my classmates!
πŸ˜„

Not that my parents ever scolded me on my studies.. not even my strict mum.
She was more strict on the other aspects of life (being street smart and religious).
Although, she never stood by me for doing any CCAs, which, being rebellious me, I was doing whatever I wanted.
She forbade me from joining some events and never attended 99% of my competitions or performances for everything I ever did.
Hey… I got an A for juggling between 3 CCAs (competitions, camps, performances, etc) which helped me with my grades to get to my first choice course!

Most of those subjects back in the first 16 years of my life wasn’t that useful for the next years to come or for my working life, anyway.
Anyway, there are those who bloom later in life.
They take more time to grasp what they learn.
Slow learners will still reach their destination, eventually!
Let them find out what they want and is truly good at.
Even those who are already at my age don’t even know what they want to do, career-wise.
Chillax!

Based on my last course, I got 3As and 1B, for my 1-year part-time night class.
Because I LOVE IT!
I enjoy it and I know that this is what I want to pursue in next.
Don’t even need history or accounting to do my course and job (now and the future).
So, chill on pressurising your kid at such a young age.

I wouldn’t trade away my awesome childhood memories to just slough my life away studying and doing some extra classes on things that I don’t even enjoy doing. You should see the time-tables that are being set for these kids!!! It’s jam packed with too little time for the short time of youth.

Remembering all the fun camps and CCAs with different groups of friends, staying out late and getting scolded (lol), playing in the rain/mud/catching snails and worms, doing silly stuff,  I learned to play 2 musical instruments on my own, sang in the choir, competitions, martial arts with my bestie, library geek and a bookworm, dancing performances! omg.. haha.., (I didn’t start dating until I was 15 though) but yeah, I remember stupid puppy love, I got a lot of medals/mentions for Arts and English language. My art teacher bringing me to Art schools because I took up fashion designing for my final project. My English teacher said that I plagiarised my compositions… haha.. but, found out it couldn’t possibly, in the end. Computers were huge and bulky.. search engine was a horrible thing. Dial-up internet. Gaming!!! Sports.. I loved running to bits.. cycling.. swimming.. I was so tanned back then. Always the top 2, within the girls arena, in school.
(Didn’t even need to spend money on these… just time, because I had money shortage back when I was young… wait a minute… I’m still shortage of money, because of my new house renovation.. lol… life… still alright, though XD)

I did what I wanted.
Like my hubby would always say, all these years, “You never know what you want to do. You always want to do something that someone is doing during that moment”.
I know.
But, I get inspired often.
I don’t regret it.
I’ll only regret when I didn’t try to do something that I yearn to (obviously, nothing dumb).
That’s why I love travelling alone.
I get to choose what I want to do and live life as I want it to be.

Here I am, worked my way up from the bottom, because, I took up the wrong bachelor degree, 8 years ago. Now, a regional IT specialist for 14 Asia countries (technically, more than the official 14, because I don’t mind helping everyone), assisting my beloved counterparts from other regions from Africa, Middle East, America and helping our global team with the systems. (Although, time for a change soon).

Not every child is meant to be a doctor or lawyer when they grow up.
Not everything is dependent on one or even a few “failure/s”.
But if it does… we learn from them.

 

❀ Icesabel

 

Live life forward

Wanted to share this.

It’s not always about “I didn’t do anything wrong”, but rather, you didn’t do it right.

So, what have you done today and what do you have in mind for the future? How are you going to make things better and make do/improve the situation you’re in? Life is what you make out of it.

All the best, everyone. 😘
❀ Icesabel