Kenshin and a few other updates

Watched Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno with a few friends last night.
It was… AWESOME.. from the beginning to the end!

Of all the older anime and manga, I didn’t pick this up.
Neither did I watch the first movie instalment a few years back.
But, weird enough, Himura Kenshin was one of the anime/manga characters that I used to draw (using my graphite B-set pencils and drawing paper) because I found him to be elusively striking with his scar as I browsed through the long list of anime/manga online ages back… strong, fierce and good-looking.

But, still, I promise that as long as you’re a fan of manga/anime, Japanese culture/old-era backdrop and/or fighting scenes using the oldskool katana and whatnot, you’re in for a good two-hours journey.
The poster showed that the second part, meaning 2nd part of the 2nd movie will be shown on 2nd October.
Can’t wait for for it.

Unfortunately, I’m unable to say any more than that because I know nuts about the true storyline.
Roflmao~

 

 

Ok.. back to reality.

The most popular questions I’ve been getting since I came back to “reality” are:
How was your honeymoon? (and more in-depth questions about where I travelled)
Notice any difference between being bf/gf and being a married couple? (then concluded on their own, “it’ll change… you’ll see”)

If it’s possible, I’d love to stay in Korea longer.
Unfortunately, I might eventually suffer because I’m known to have difficulties in breathing in cold dry air, once it starts to turn autumn and then winter.
Most of them cannot even speak English and with most menu and words in their language, it’s already tough enough to find Halal food, plus they usually add Pork to most food, so.. that’s a total bust.

I didn’t say things won’t change.
I know it will.
Most, if not all people know nuts about my history between him and me.
The difficult times we went through the past 10 years.
He was there.
No one else was there.
And him back to me as well… all his issues and problems revolving around him and us.
We’re still here.. and have tied the knot.

What all those breakdowns have taught us is to push the negativity of others.
Learned to ignore people who mean nothing, yet, would try to cause problems for others.
Fight for our place.
We fought all the time.
Probably one of those weird couples who make others terrified with our daily quarrels of nothingness.
Then, we forget.
We’re opposite polars that attract.
We share common goals and love the similar things.

We did change throughout those years.
And in more years to home (In Sya Allah)… I know we will change.. evolve with time and changes of environment and situation.
There will always be problems, in and out.
That’s life.

We cry.. fight.. get scared.. feel lost… but, we also laugh and smile.. hold each other up.
It won’t be perfect and we know that first hand because we’ve been through our own set of problems.
It will be different, when did I ever deny that since I was young?
I’ve always been different and to always dream that things will always get better as time goes by.

But, they don’t need to know this.
All I’d reply with is “I know”.
Even how sceptical they are to my monotonous reciprocation.

The bad and good makes us grow.. because the choices we make, will turn us to be who we eventually truly are (and should be).

 

There hasn’t really been a few days of “relaxation” since I came back to “reality”.
Problems have been pouring in, one after another.
Reason why I didn’t want to blog for the past few days is because I’ve been bogged down with so much.
And it’s only been… what?… 2 weeks? Wow~
Even if I thought that I wanted to blurt everything out by blogging, I don’t think it’d worth it at all.
I’ve been having a biting feeling (before I got married) that a few of these problems will come into place.
In fact, the problems don’t lie in us or our relationship as a couple.
But, everything and everyone around us seems to be causing (or even trying) to make us quarrel.
These.. what I’d call tests.. have been pushing their luck on my patience and whether I’d submit to do the right thing.

But, because of all these, I see positive changes.. small ones.. but, surely seeping through to make ends meet.

All I know is that, this is just the beginning and the past 10 years was just the stepping stones to start a new chapter.

 

Cheers~
<3 Icesabel

My Wedding + bestmen singing + yoyo performance

I don’t have the “official” pictures and video for the wedding as I’ve just gotten back from my honeymoon.
Will be collecting it from the photography company we’ve hired end of this week.
But, I’ve got a few from friends and whatnot.
XD

 

This was the first set of clothes right after the Akad Nikah.

The second set (with my god-brother).

Our epic wedding picture! <3

Side view.. heavy stuff on my head.. hate it.
Could barely move my head to the right or left.
='(

Third set (with someone I used to be close with whilst in secondary school).

The pretty bridesmaids!

2 of the 5 bestmen doing a performance – a song by John Legend: All of me.

Fajar Siddiq and Thawhir Yao doing a Yo-Yo performance for us!

 

Apparently, his mum decided to ask the DJ to announce him to go down from the stage to perform (after years of not practising) for everyone.
This old skool boy used to joined the Asia championship in his early teens in Japan.

Kompang.. bunga manggar.. and a silat performance afterwards.

 

~~~~~

I’ll update again once I get the official pictures and nitpick on the main ones.

~~~~~

Oh yes.. a little preview of our post-wedding photos done in Seoul, South Korea.

~~~~~

The awkward moment when…

  1. Everyone (including the Korean staff for our photoshoot) keeps thinking that we married way too early because they thought we were in our early 20s.
  2. Elixir of youth!!! Nah… both of our genetics. A compliment.. considering we’re in the land of “plastics” who are able to look young themselves.
  3. Koreans were asking me for directions whilst we were lost ourselves! (Do I look Korean as well? I was always being called a local in so many Asian countries whilst travelling in Thailand, Indonesia, Myanmar, Malaysia… at home, I’m being asked whether I’m from Philippines and Japan.) XD
  4. Language was a barrier and we had to move about to find our way or purchase something or whatever that needs communication done.
  5. We were hungry most of the time because they were selling pork with mostly everything. So, we had to keep going to find somewhere where we could have our meal. >_<

 

<3 Icesabel

One Day to Go

Scared and stressed… for no reason.. at least, for now.
I’m already disappointed that a lot of my closer friends couldn’t attend.

I’m totally running away.
I’ve booked a hotel room in Singapore for 2 nights before flying off to South Korea for 2 weeks.
The real stress starts after that, but… I don’t want to think about it.

 

I’ve just taken off my braces of 4 years, yesterday!
It feels… weird… without something clinging to my teeth.

The clothes have been sent to my house.
Decorations are being done right now at the location.
Food is being cooked.
Bla bla bla..
I was already over stressed yesterday because there were a few hiccups and they were expecting me to do something?

I wasn’t a Bridezilla until 2 weeks back.
I noticed that, but, I couldn’t help lashing out every time a problem arises.
Shucks… sure, I was a perfectionist years back, but, I don’t really nitpick on stuff that can be compromised when I’ve stopped being one.
But, this time around.. maybe… because it’s my big day… that’s what people always say.. “big day”.

 

<3 Icesabel

مغروم

The cake-cutting song I’ve chosen is Pasha Feat Adelia – Penghujung Cintaku.

But, for the walk-in, the earlier song I’ve chosen was K-Hunter’s Marry Me.
I’ve, kind of, changed my mind.
I’d love it if it’s this one instead.
Toni Qattan – Maghroum / طوني قطان – مغروم

Translation:

In Love

My heart is in love and I’ve never loved anyone else other than you
I swear I’ll burn if you’re not mine

I only want you
Tell me what more would I need if I’ve got you?
My hearts only feels you
Now my heart only beats for you

My heart is in love and I’ve never loved anybody else other than you
I swear I’ll burn if you’re not mine

I’ll go crazy if they take you away from me
They will not give you another guy, other than me
I know that even if they blame you
You will be mine

Tell your family that I’m coming to ask for your hand
I swear I’ll commit a crime if they don’t accept us

 

<3 Icesabel

Hair.. done..

And the reason why I can’t be bothered to post so much pictures of myself is because I look the same in most of the pictures…
No use in posting the “same” pictures again and again.
XD

 

But… I got my hair dyed yesterday at Lacoco Korean Hair Salon at Vivocity by Paul.
I actually wanted it to be a lighter shade of brown, equivalent to some hair extensions I bought 2 years back for one of my hair dye job.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be a very dark brown and Paul offered that I only paid for the treatment and come back next month to re-dye my hair to a lighter tone.
I was fine with it actually.
But, since I needed some hair boost, I bought a hair extension from LYs for my wedding event just now.
The same place I bought my earlier extension.
If I’m not wrong, I’ve only actually worn the “old” extension 3 or 4 times.
I don’t really like “things” on my head… lol~
I think I bought that one on impulse because they looked pretty… lmao~
No one seemed to know that it’s fake even though they said that my hair looked really nice during those rare occasions and were wondering what was different.
They look and feel natural, but, they’re synthetic hair extensions.
Just needed a hair boost for my wedding as I’ve got super fine and limp hair (the oily scalp is not helping the situation at all).
And they’d probably look “dead” if I don’t have them on.

 

<3 Icesabel

Paradoxical

Ummm.. nah.. I’m neither feeling depressed nor confused of any sort.
Just remembered that I’ve got a number of poems stuck in my old bag that I found a few days back when I was spring cleaning my stuff out.
Forgotten to upload the rest of my artwork.. but… hummm~ nevermind.. not that it really matters anyway.

 

Inspired by Andrew Rayel’s 550 (Senta Aether Mix)

Solemnization

This is how the solemnization for a Muslim-Malay marriage in Singapore goes

  1. Exchanging of marriage gifts (Hantaran) between representatives of the bride and groom before the solemnization, if any.
  2. A sermon (Khutbah) on marriage by the Kadi / Naib Kadi (solemnizer).
  3. The bride’s Wali appoints the Kadi / Naib Kadi to solemnize the marriage or otherwise agrees to solemnize the marriage himself.
  4. Solemnization (Akad’ Nikah).
  5. Taklik, reading of special marriage conditions by the groom.
  6. Prayers by the Kadi / Naib Kadi (Dua’).
  7. Groom giving the bride the Mahar (Maskahwin).
  8. Collection of the marriage certificate.

What items are needed

  1. NRICs of the groom, the bride and her Wali
  2. NRICs of the two witnesses
  3. Appointment Letter
  4. Mahar (Maskahwin)

 

What is a Hantaran (Marriage Expenses)?

A Hantaran is a customary gift, usually in cash, given by the groom to his bride’s family for the Walimah (wedding banquet).
The Hantaran rate must be agreed upon by both parties.

 

What is Wali?

In Islam, a Wali is a person who is responsible for the bride’s life before she is married.
As a Wali, it is also his duty to ensure that the proposed groom is a reliable and a trustworthy person who will continue to carry on his role and responsibility towards the bride after her marriage.

Who is a Wali?

Listed in the proper hierarchy, a Wali can be the bride’s birth father, her paternal grandfather, brother, paternal uncle or any male relative from her paternal side. If there is none available, then the Kadi will assume the role as a Wali.

What is the role of the Wali?

The Wali must consent to the marriage. The Wali must accompany the bride when she makes her registration at the Registry.

The role that a Wali plays in your marriage is of great importance. Hence, a Wali, who is found not to be lawful for the solemnization may render a marriage null and void. The consequence of an annulment is undesirable from both the Syariah and civil point of view. For one, the legality of the child that will be borne from the intended marriage that the couple is undergoing is dubious and this will have a bearing on future inheritance matters.

In any event the Wali’s consent is falsely declared, the Registry has the right to reject this marriage application and all bookings made in lieu to this application will be cancelled.

 

Akad Nikah

The groom must utter those words in one breath and must be clearly heard by at least two of the main witnesses sitting beside the kadi.
The kadi will then ask both witnesses and others whether the groom’s vows or recital can be accepted.
If they agree, then the marriage is solemnized and the wedded ones are now deemed husband and wife.

But then there are occasions when the Akad Nikah has to be taken again.
Why is that so?

Well, if the witnesses are not satisfied with the vows made by the groom, for example, his voice cannot be heard clearly, or he stutters or miss a word, or it is not done in one breath, so to speak, then the process of solemnization must be repeated.
Sometimes if the groom fails a few times, the imam will give him a break so that he could calm down and settle himself properly before the akad nikah is taken again.
This usually happens when the groom is really nervous and he forgets the words of acceptance, especially when there are many people around and he is not used to being the center of attention.
Sometimes too, the witnesses are just too fussy and not easily satisfied, and sometimes just want the vows to be taken again to test the seriousness of the groom on his marriage.
But, these cases where vows have to be taken many times are few and seldom.
Normally the vows are accepted after one recital by the groom or at the most, three times.

 

Signing of the documents

After the akad nikah is accepted and the kadi recites prayers for a happy and blissful marriage to the couple, he will then read to the groom the duties of a husband, his rights, the dos and don’ts, and also the duties and rights of the wife.

He will mention in particular the stages in pursuing the Islamic divorce and the consequences of reciting divorce intentions including incidences where it is lawful for the wife to seek divorce.

And after the kadi has finished with his advice ( mostly read from prepared text), the groom, acknowledging the advice given, will then sign the formal papers of marriage for official documentation purpose.

 

What is taklik?

In short, it is the conditions of divorce for the first few months of marriage, according to Islamic laws.
It is being recited after the official solemnization/akad nikah.

~~~~~

Taklik (for those who want to know) which we got from the kadi at ROMM (Registry of Muslim Marriage).

In Malay:

Pada tiap-tiap kali, saya (sebutkan nama sendiri)

  • meninggalkan isteri saya, (sebutkan nama isteri) dengan sengaja atau tidak, selama 4 bulan atau lebih, atau
  • saya atau wakil saya tidak memberi nafkah kepadanya, selama masa tersebut, sedangkan is taat kepada saya, atau
  • saya melakukan sebarang perkara yang mencederakan tubuh badannya atau merosakkan hartabendanya atau menjatuhkan kehormatannya

kemudian mengadu ia kepada Mahkamah Syariah, serta didapati aduannya itu betul, nescaya gugurlah takak isteri itu dengan talak satu.

 

In English:

On every occasion that I (please mention your name)

  • leave my wife (mention her name) for a continuous period of 4 months or more, intentionally or unintentionally, or
  • fail to maintain her for the said period whereas she is obedient to me or
  • commit any action that causes injury to her body or damage to her property or causes her to lose self-respect

and my wife complains to the Syariah Court and if her complaint is proved, then she is divorced by one talak.

~~~~~

 

What is a Maskahwin (Mahar)?

Mahar is a gift given by the groom to the bride after the solemnization ceremony.
It symbolises the beginning of a husband’s responsibility towards his wife in fulfilling her everyday needs.

Mahar can be in cash or benefits, such as gold, silver or money.
Mahar is the bride’s right and she owns the Mahar.
Thus, she has the will to dispose of it as she wishes.

The current minimum rate for the Mahar in Singapore is S$100 cash.

 

The last portion

The formalities of the akad nikah being over, the groom now will go to his wife and slip in the marriage ring.

This is essentially a symbol that he now can touch the bride being her lawful husband.
In Islam, males are not allowed to touch unrelated females, and vice versa, unless the skin or parts are covered.
Now, however, as husband and wife there are no such restrictions or prohibitions.

The ceremony ends with the bride kissing the groom’s hands after the placing of the ring.

They will later in the afternoon proceed for the “bersanding” ceremony – sitting “in state” on the pelamin (stage where they sit like a king/queen for a day)- the highlight of a traditional Malay wedding.

 

 

<3 Icesabel

Test?

I know that life is full of tests.
But, I wasn’t ready for this test.
It took the whole out of me.
It tested a few people at once, as well.
Honestly, I was already at the brink.

How I hated it.
The very fact that I can see sides of people that are just hateful (crystal clear).
Showing the “good” side in front of me.
But, considering upon hearing different stories from different sides…
Well, I know how this works.
It’s becoming clearer to me on who I can depend on and who are right.
The ones who are two-faced and the ones who are unintentionally making hell on earth for some.

It was the first day of Eid Mubarak.
It was supposed to be an auspicious and happy day for all.

In addition to it being merely 6 days to my wedding.
This was a tough test to go through.
I was… pushed to my limit.
The problems slowly cleared up, but, obviously… some would not be clear off until, probably, a few weeks later.

By fate, the taxi driver that took both of us home shared some advice with us.
Something we NEEDED to hear, to understand and remember and even made the both of us agree upon it…
Even though he knew nothing of our problems for the day… we didn’t mention anything about us except that we were getting married this weekend.
It does seem obvious, but, when you’ve been battered down and feeling down, that was probably the last thing on our minds.
He was randomly telling things that actually mattered (had relation) to our situation.
I couldn’t see his face from where I was sitting.
Usually, I’d be able to always see the driver’s face from the rear view mirror.
This time around, it seemed a bit dark in there and didn’t think much about it.
But, since he dropped me off at my porch first, my other half messaged me later on that the driver offered him to only pay 10 dollars…
Stating that it would be a gift for our wedding.
(My other half is staying 10 minutes away from me).
The weird part is that, my other half’s wallet was empty this afternoon as he was finding cash in his pockets and I saw it.
So, I paid for the earlier taxi fare.
And…
Suddenly he has a 10 dollar note, perfect for the price the driver offered.
Also, he said that he couldn’t see the driver’s face either.
The driver did not turn around when he receive the cash.
I don’t know.. we don’t know what really happened.

But all I can say is… thank you for being a kind soul.
I know we needed that talk even if it felt weird…
Because he was speaking to us as though he was giving every piece of advice we needed in order to go through the ordeal.
God bless you.

 

Tests in life are made so much so that you’d either become stronger out of it or break down and leave.

….
After all these…
How I miss Ramadan.

 

<3 Icesabel

Wedding Preparations

Why not make a list, as much as I can remember, on what I’ve done to get me to where I am in the preparation process… all in one post.
So, this post will be updated again and again, without creating a new one, until the big day.

So, if there’s someone from this list that you’d like to hire for your big day, go ahead and contact them~ ^_^

Note: I will not scrutinise the details in which how many times I had to go to and fro to contact the vendors to make the instalments, confirmation on changes, etc, in between these main points.

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The wedding preparations was done by me… alone.
Not with my mum (who wasn’t exactly bffs with me at all), not with my sister, not with my other half, not with my family, not with any of my friends.
Just plain old me.
It has been a hectic year of planning and will not be done with until the wedding is over.
No lies.
It was insane for me.
Juggling between other people’s and my feelings and problems.. his and my family issues… work… and even straining our relationship because I’ve been PMS-ing most of the time due to the high stress load.

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Aug 2014

1: Call Town Council to turn on the power/water supply & unlock wash room and fitting room – 2nd Aug

2: Set up signage – 2nd Aug

3: Car Decoration – 2nd Aug

4: Nikah – 3rd Aug, 10am – Payment to Kadi S$100

4: Wedding reception – 3rd Aug, 11am – 5pm

5: Post-wedding photography 7th – 9th Aug with Ido Wedding + honeymoon 5th – 16th Aug in Korea

 

July 2014

1: To send a few of our “hantaran” gifts to have it decorated together with the gift trays – 13th July

  • Misbaha & Prayer mat
  • Nike Dunk Low Pro SB in Orange
  • Wedding Band from Lovis Diamonds – Love Connection
  • Fossil – CH2891 – Coachman Chronograph Leather Watch in Brown
  • Braun Buffel Wallet
  • Polo Blue Ralph Lauren Man-care & Perfume Set
  • Sony Cyber-Shot DSC-WX80 Camera

Him to me

  • Telekung & Prayer mat

  • Puma Suede Mid Classic Sneaker in Pink
  • Diablo Books
  • Makeup from Sephora
  • Kate Spade Cedar Street Maise Bag in Black

2: To book 2 round trip flight tickets to and fro Jeju via Eastarjet

3: Finalise on whether we can get a silat team

4: Finalise on the last set for the 3 sets of clothes

5: Collect wedding bands – 18th July

6: Collect the altered clothes – 20th July

7: ROMM with dad and mum and other half for interview with Kadi + confirm on info – at least 5 week earlier

8: Taklik (for those who want to know) which we got from the kadi at ROMM.

 

In Malay:

Pada tiap-tiap kali, saya (sebutkan nama sendiri)

  • meninggalkan isteri saya, (sebutkan nama isteri) dengan sengaja atau tidak, selama 4 bulan atau lebih, atau
  • saya atau wakil saya tidak memberi nafkah kepadanya, selama masa tersebut, sedangkan is taat kepada saya, atau
  • saya melakukan sebarang perkara yang mencederakan tubuh badannya atau merosakkan hartabendanya atau menjatuhkan kehormatannya

kemudian mengadu ia kepada Mahkamah Syariah, serta didapati aduannya itu betul, nescaya gugurlah takak isteri itu dengan talak satu.

 

In English:

On every occasion that I (please mention your name)

  • leave my wife (mention her name) for a continuous period of 4 months or more, intentionally or unintentionally, or
  • fail to maintain her for the said period whereas she is obedient to me or
  • commit any action that causes injury to her body or damage to her property or causes her to lose self-respect

and my wife complains to the Syariah Court and if her complaint is proved, then she is divorced by one talak.

 

9: Get finalised wedding itinerary – 31st July

10: Collect hantaran trays – 1st Aug

11: Get our hair coloured + cut + treatment at our fave hair salon at Lacoco Korean Hair Salon @ Vivocity – Final week of July

12: Call Kadi 3 days before the event – 1st Aug

 

June 2014

1: Meet with camera & video company to finalise on the itinerary

2: Buy the clothes for:

  • best men – purchased
  • bridesmaids – purchased (altered, to collect on 20th July)
  • mum – purchased (altered, to collect on 20th July)
  • dad & younger brother – purchased
  • elder brother & his family – purchased

3: To finalise our “hantaran” gifts
He doesn’t know what he wants yet, so I’m waiting for him to give me his list.

Me to him: 7 items
Him to me: 5 items

4: Bought our wedding bands at Lovis Diamonds. Collection date: 18th July
Looks something like the picture below, but, in two tones, rose and white gold.

5: Start to send out invitations

  • FB
  • SMS
  • Meet-ups
  • E-mail
  • Card via face-to-face and mail

6: Finally found my perfect pair of white wedding heels

7: Had facial done
The picture is raw and non-edited.
lol~ I can see the huge pores, dark rings under my eyes and tiny pimples all over on my faceeeeee~
Oh gosh… I really need to do my hair next month!!!
So dry and the ombre effect is not nice at all.. I’ve not dyed my hair for quite a long time.
Grew it out so that the hair dye colour would be more evened out.

 

 

May 2014

1: Booked flights. Had problems with AirAsia because they refuse to either give us “free” tickets or return the amount we paid for double booking to KL a year back. To and fro to Changi Airport and got nothing from them eventually.
Trip to KL with our wedding planner to purchase a couple of stuff including getting my white wedding gown hand-sewn from scratch by Dwen Raha. I told him what I wanted and he drew it out on paper. Woot! And.. and… my tiara! It’s so pretty! <3 The accommodation and food was paid by them. We only paid for our plane ride (it was still expensive though… about 400 bucks just for a one-day trip)


My inspiration:

The shop where I got my tiara. All I did was asked if I could get one.. and.. they agreed to get me one, so, I took my time trying a couple before choosing one cute one!
Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of it. lol~

View from the apartment we were staying

Beautiful view at the airport before we boarded the plane back home

2: Travel Insurance by Aviva Singapore for 2 for the South Korea trip (post-wedding photography + honeymoon)

3: Spent a week researching on all the places to go and setting an itinerary for our trip to South Korea
In short:

5th Aug

  • Flight 7am – 8.35pm (3 hours interval – stopping by Hong Kong)
  • Staying over at apartment 1 – booked via AirBnB

6th Aug

  • Gyeongbokgung Palace
  • Buckhon Hanok Village
  • Ice Gallery
  • Samcheong-dong
  • Changdeokgung Palace
  • Extra: Ssamze-gil
  • Namsan Cable Car
  • N Seoul Tower
  • Staying over at apartment 1 in Gangnam – booked via AirBnB

7th – 9th Aug

  • IDOWEDDING photoshoot!
  • Staying over at one of the hotels listed by the company in Gangnam – booked via Dynasty Travel

10th – 12th Aug

  • Fly from Gimpo Airport to Jeju International Airport
  • East~~~
    • Maze Land
    • Supjikoji
    • Trick Art Museum
    • Sungsan Sunrise Peak
  • South
    • Waterfalls – Cheonjeyon, Jungbang, Cheonjiyon
    • Alive Museum
    • Teddy Bear Museum
    • Jusaangjoli Cliff
  • West
    • Glass Castle
    • Soingook Miniature Theme Park
    • Chocolate Museum
    • Hyupjae Beach
  • City
    • Ice Museum
    • Love Land
  • Staying over at a hotel in Jeju booked via Agoda

13th Aug

  • Fly back to Gimpo Airport
  • Lotte World Adventure
  • Staying over at apartment 2 near Han River booked via AirBnB

14th Aug

  • Nami Island
  • Petite France
  • Cheonggyecheon Stream
  • Banpo Bridge Rainbow Fountain – River evening Cruise + buffet dinner onboard or Dongjak Cloud Cafe
  • Staying over at apartment 2 booked near Han River via AirBnB

15th Aug

  • Namdaemun Market
  • Myeongdong
  • Dongdaemun Market
  • Extra: Munjeong-dng Rodeo Street
  • Extra: Hwagae-gil Shoes Street
  • Staying over at apartment 2 booked near Han River via AirBnB

16th Aug

  • Flight from 8.50am – 6.20pm (3 hours interval, stopping by Hong Kong)

4: Researched and emailed 5 Korean taxi drivers in Jeju to book to bring us around for our 3-days trip there.
3 replied with their mobile numbers.
Will call them on the first day upon reaching Seoul

5: Met up with our consultant from IDOWEDDING to finalise on what we wanted for the photoshoot

6: Booked our hotel from IDOWEDDING’s list via Dynasty Travels (in order to get the free tansportation whilst doing the photoshoot, else, it would cost us about SG$400!)

7: Booking of 4 hotels/apartments of accommodation because we would be roving from Seoul to Gangnam to Jeju to Seoul.
2 via Airbnb. 1 as said above. 1 via Agoda.

8: Ordered Elegant Custom made Wedding Card Box from ExoticWeddingBoxes via Etsy.com

9: Booked flight for 2 round tickets for Singapore Changi Airport – Seoul Incheon International Airport aboard Cathay Pacific via New Shan Travel

10: Finalise with our wedding planner at their office on

  • The menu of food and drinks that we specifically want
  • Cake & cupcakes
    It would be something like this:

    But, with the design of Mario!

  • Clothes + accessories
    First outfit for my solemnisation event:

    Second outfit:
    Don’t have a picture of it, but, it’s a kebaya similar the one above except that it’s in Tiffany blue.
  • Colour and design of my flower bouquet
    Something like this:
  • What colours and type of decorations we would like for the Bunga Pahar + Bunga Rampai + Sirih Junjung + Sirih Dara
  • Cookies as favors. The top ones are for the adults and the bottom ones are for the kids

  • They ordered and treated us Domino pizza in their office! <3

 

Apr 2014

1: Collected the invitation cards after a lot of to and fro changes made on the venue and whatnot.

2: Make a list of 100+ songs for the wedding

3: Renew passport via website and went down to collect a few weeks later, in time for the KL, Malaysia trip

 

Mar 2014

Booking via Registry of Muslim Marriage website for solemnisation services and application for marriage
There were only 3 kadi available for the date! :( Not much of a choice.

 

Feb 2014

Booking of the usage of Amphitheatre for 2 days (Saturday + Sunday), including power and water usage with the Town Council

 

Jan 2014

1: Met my second make-up artistto do a make-up trial at my wedding planner’s office
Honestly, I’m too lazy to go for another trial make-up session with another one. >_>

2: Hairstyle
With the first outfit:
Full up

With the second outfit:
Half up

With the third outfit:
Full down

 

Dec 2013

1: Attended the 2-full days Pre-Marriage Course in English via SPMC at CIMB building in Raffles Place
It was an awesome one!!! Enjoyed and loved it!

2: Confirmed from whom we would borrow the car from and who would be the driver.
Eventually, it was one of his bestmen

 

Nov 2013

Attended an event at Compassvale to choose and make a down-payment for the invitation cards.

  • 600 pcs of DL Size Postcards

 

Oct 2013

1: Called up and went to see the owner of Ken Studio at his office to book two packages for the big day.

Photography Package

  • 10 hours photography service
  • 300 pcs of 4R photo with album
  • All images returned in high resolution digital file
  • Requested for the owner to be our photographer for the day

Videography Package

  • 10 hours videography service
  • 2 pcs of DVD with editing
  • Raw video on DVD

2: Made an appointment with IDOWEDDING at the Singapore Expo to book for a our post-wedding photography

VIZIT KOREA 4888

  • 30-pages standard photography
  • 4 gowns and 2 tuxedo + Hanbok set
  • 1 consultant + 1 hair and make-up artist
  • 20R photo frame
  • Original CD (unedited images)
  • Local transportation in South Korea (only if we book the list of hotels they partner with via them directly or Dynasty Travels)
  • Interpreter



3:
I wanted to hire Ola Lola Weddings & Events services for my “hantaran” gift trays, but, they apologetically said they wouldn’t be working during that month of our event. :(
Back to the drawing board of research.

4: 2 weeks later, I found Zudyra Creations and took up their package

  • Snap and Print Guestbook services (including photobooth)

  • 12 “hantaran” gift trays
  • Artificial car decoration

5: Called Town Council on how the booking of the location and what we can get out of it

6: Went to the first make-up artist’s place with my wedding planner for a makeup trial
It was alright, but, too thick for my taste

 

May 2013

We went through with their range of packages and settled with the most expensive one, whilst, removing some of the stuff.

  • Food (too long a list to place it here >_<) and dessert for 1200 pax
  • Stage or what we would call “pelamin”, decoration of up to 20ft
  • Tables and chairs with covers
  • Banquet services
  • DJ (my own set of songs in mp3)
  • Bunga Pahar + Bunga Rampai + Sirih Junjung + Sirih Dara
  • 1200 pcs wedding favors (cookies!)
  • 100 pcs favors for kids
  • Makeup artist and Hair Stylist + 3 sets of wedding clothes
  • Kompang
  • Bus
  • 3-tier cake + cupcakes

Deco

 

Oct 2012 – Apr 2013

I did a lot of research.
A LOT.
From food to cards to wedding planners to decoration, etc.
But, we came to a mutual agreement that we would take that wedding planner.
Honestly, we felt that we could work with them because of all the vendors, we were way comfortable whilst discussing with them.
The rest felt as though there was a gap between us and them as clients vs business people.
I called them up and we set up a meeting time and place to talk further and sign a contract!

Asked for A LOT of quotations from a long list of vendors for nearly everything.

 

Jan 2013

Signed the lease, paid for the down-payment.
Estimated to be up by end 2016

 

Nov 2012

Applied for HDB housing loan

 

Oct 2012

We visited the (Malay) Wedding Fair held at the Singapore Expo, talked to a number of vendors.
I was hoping to have a wedding in a hotel initially.
But, eventually gave up on the idea a few weeks later because it would be way too expensive if we were to invite a big group of people.
Hotel = smaller group.. thus, probably only family members and a few close friends… =(
Of the lot, we also spoke to our (eventual) wedding planner, Urbane Wedding Concept.
We actually made a down-payment for a pre-wedding photography by Ken Studio.
Yet, we left the location, still with lots of doubts and unsure about anything at all.

 

Sept 2012

Got a queue number, which is a bit more than half of the number of selected people.
Did a little research and chose a few houses we would like to live in and got one of them (it’s on a first-come-first-serve basis based on your balloted queue number)

 

Aug 2012

Ballot

 

July 2012

Applied for Build-to-order flat during the July 2012 exercise for a spot at the north-east of Singapore as a first-timer.

 

Some time in 2012?

All he said was… “let’s buy house together”.
That was pretty much our “done-deal” to get married and a house.
No proposals.. no rings.. nothing except that one line.

 

<3 Icesabel

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg: Why we have too few women leaders

A 15-mins video as Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg looks at why a smaller percentage of women than men reach the top of their professions and offers 3 powerful pieces of advice to women aiming for the C-suite.

An author, an activist, and a Facebook executive who wants to see more women at the top.

 

With statistics, she mentions how small this percentages are, of men vs women in top seats.

She was in a 3 hours meeting at another company and 2 hours past, she wanted to go to the ladies, but, the partner at the meeting did not know if there was a ladies room.
In fact, they’ve been there for a year.
She asked,” Am I the only woman who has pitched a deal in this year?”
He replied, “Yeah. Or maybe you’re the only one who had to go to the bathroom.”

 

This message is for those who do want to stay in the workforce.

  1. Sit at the table
    – Some senior post women sit at the side of the room
    – Women underestimate their own abilities > asking both men and women on questions with objective criteria, women do NOT negotiate themselves in the workforce.
    – 57% of men negotiate their first salary, while it’s 7% for women
    – Men attribute their success on themselves (if you ask why they did a good job, they’ll say “I’m awesome”) and women attribute their success on others (“someone helped them; they got lucky; they worked really hard”)
    – No one gets a corner office by sitting at the side of the table
    – No one gets the promotion if they don’t think that they deserve their success or they don’t even understand their own success
    – Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negative for women > people prefer men over women (based on a research, people want to work for the guy.. go fishing with him, etc.. but, a girl.. not so sure.. she’s a little out for herself.. a little political.. not sure if you want to work for her)
    – Men are reaching for opportunities more than women (During a meeting, the men’s hands were still raised and the women’s did not because she said two more questions and was still answering questions from the men).
  2. Make your partner a real partner
    – We push our boys to succeed more than our girls
    – Studies show that both side with equal earnings and responsibilities have half the divorce rate and in a biblical sense as well
  3. Don’t leave before you leave
    – A girl starts thinking of having a child and therefore thinking about making room (time) for the child in her usual busy schedule. She then doesn’t put her hand up, take a promotion, take on a new project, say “me, I want to do that”. She starts leaning back.
    – Women starts to think about this way earlier, thus losing the opportunities early. (A girl asked about this when she wasn’t even married or have a boyfriend yet). She’s thinking about it way too early.
    – What happens when you start quietly leaning back?
    – When you have a kid, your job has to be really good to go back to (challenging, rewarding, making a difference) because it’s difficult to leave the kid at home.
    – If 2 years ago, some guy beside you took the promotion instead of you or 3 years ago you stopped looking for opportunities, you’re going to be bored because you should’ve put your foot on the gas pedal > Don’t leave before you leave. Stay in until the very day you need to leave to take a break for the child and then make your decisions. Don’t make decisions too far in advance. Particularly the ones you’re not consciously making.

Wants her 5 year old son to have the choice to fully contribute to the workforce or at home.
Wants her 2 year old daughter to have the choice to not only succeed, but, to be liked for her accomplishments.

 

~~~~~~

Let’s speak based on my own personal experience and point of view.

 

It is true that women underestimate their own abilities and prefer not to negotiate or push forward to what she wants and attributes her success on others.
I learned this the hard way.
Being in a field and position where not many girls would go into, I grew weary and frustrated over the years (even though I was only a full-fledged in my field 5 years back).
I hated the fact that I was paid lesser than the guys even though I was doing the exact job scope as them, if not more.
I know, because I have a number of guy friends and those who I was close to in the IT industry and I knew the figures.
Yes, it hurt when I see them doing lesser and earning more than me.
I initially thought.. hey.. that’s life… unfairness in the face of reality.
Oh boy, I was WRONG.

I was that girl.

I underestimated my own abilities only because (1) I was not certified to be one, I had a stupid degree in finance and I wanted to do IT after graduation (2) for months, I was told by interviewers straight in my face that I was incapable of doing these jobs, either with a reasoning of my not enough qualifications, no work experience and I’m a girl and I can’t do physical work (note that I have to carry heavy IT equipment) and told me to give up my dreams and the people who told me the last portion also includes so-called friends, ex-colleagues and family. I was fed with those words for a long time. (3) when I finally became a full-fledged personnel in IT – it used to be a mixed of IT and admin of some sort – I was unsure on whether I could do it.

I did not negotiate on my terms because of the reasons above and that I should not be rewarded if I doing enough or as I should.

I attributed my success on others. This came naturally. I thank my mentors and colleagues more than I thank myself for the final result even if I was the only one doing it.

What spiralled a 360 degrees turn?

The salary. I was pissed as hell.
It was unfair and I was sick and tired of doing more and getting less.
Why was I giving credit to those who weren’t even in the picture?
I actually became what people would call “arrogant” to a point, but, that’s what guys would say “Because I’m awesome. Period.”.
Girls are wired to give way and not be one. Why? I don’t know why… don’t ask me why.

I was angry that every single time, for years, I was treated like a n00b just because I’m a girl (it’s actually more common for girls now.. I think).
Although, sometimes I like to make fun of people and do act like a n00b so that I wouldn’t need to do something :P… oh.. the perks that I found out of the negativity!

I grew from that quiet and meek girl at the back to one who would roar intimidatingly to the point where, honestly, I was told that a lot of people are pretty scared of going up to me >_<.

But, come on… I became intimidating because I got angry when people would always find me non-stop for anything and everything, even when it’s pretty obvious that they can do it for themselves!
So, all of them wouldn’t go to me unless necessary now.

The last straw was early this year when I was about to send in my resignation letter, but, the highest directors and my boss told me to reconsider and we negotiated.
I was already given a letter of acceptance to a job that I went for an interview just a few weeks before.
It was a whirlwind and I decided to stay and actually got promoted.
You can call me arrogant and not down to earth at this point.. I still feel like it is so.
But, I was.. well.. been pushed across that line which I didn’t want to cross.

I’ve been asked what would I do if my boss left and the seat was open to me (and everyone else in the world) – no offence.. was asked.
I can tell you that my answer has been.. for the longest time… that I would nominate one of the senior IT managers from one of the countries to take it.
Only because I think that I’m not managerial material.
But, if you were to ask me again, I would take up the chance.
Because there was once a girl who knew nothing and moulded herself into something.

 

 

Success and likeability are positively correlated.

Thing is.. I’ve had more guy friends than girl friends most of my life.

Partly because I was always quiet and doing my own thing.
My own thing includes gaming.
Who games since the 90s?
Most of them are guys (it wasn’t until the late 2010 or so).
When I was with my exs, I was around guys who gamed.
I was always treated as one of the guys.
So much so that guys would talk amongst themselves as though I was really one of them.
They didn’t step back and spoke about what all you bros would talk in your bro-code.

Partly because I grew up with my 2 brothers.
I was a tomboy for most of my early life.
Love what guys love.
Soccer, fishing, “idling in the empty space”, gaming, playing in the mud, catching worms and snails, killing cockroaches and lizards, climbing trees, etc.
My daydreams include a warrior princess instead of some useless “help me or I’ll die” (I hate that) mode barbie dolls with my brothers’ ninja turtles, hulk, x-men.. etc.

The girls didn’t understand what I love.
Why I love.
Why I’m different.
I’m not entirely different, because I’ve got my girly side (soft-spoken, quiet, meek, always listening and respecting my elders *coughs*.. I used to be), but, still.
I didn’t share their sentiments for shopping or looking at guys or talking about doing nails (I’ve never done a manicure and pedicure in my life, yes, seriously, I love them short and natural) or my hair or how I dressed (I was into huge baggy tees and jeans and sport a ponytail).. sporty.. yeah.. ’cause I wanted a carefree life so I could do whatever I wanted without the restrictions of what I was wearing and feeling comfortable in my own skin.
Plus, I’ve been skinny my whole life and well, I have to keep quiet when girls talk about weight issues. Yes, SILENT. They’d be pissed if I were to honestly say that I can’t be fat even how much I eat. But, all of them knows so and would sometimes say that I’m lucky that I can eat whatever I want or how much I want and not be fat. I’d still keep silent at that point. Just politely smile. =X

At work, I believe in bonding.
I don’t care whether you’re at the lowest end and sweeping the floor or you’re a big-shot at the top of the chain.
When it comes to work, I have no choice, but, to make sure I know how to prioritise on the workload since I’m a soloist.
Once in a blue moon, I get a request from some so-called big-shot who isn’t so big-shot in my eyes who wants help immediately.
I’d say “Take a number and sit quietly at the corner until it’s your turn”.
I’ve mentioned earlier that people get scared?
I’ve actually scolded a handful number of people at work and I’m not exactly proud of it.
I don’t care what your position is.
If you think you’re more important than others, you’re going to get a piece of my mind.
Then, you’d either get pushed to the back and I won’t get to you until tomorrow and make a bet that you will NOT get any attention from me from then forth until you become someone I can talk to on a colleague level instead of thinking you’re any better than anyone else.
Even the higher post directors are more down to earth 10 times more than they are.
Yeah.. I’m not exactly likeable.. hahahaha~
But, I can safely say that all those people actually changed for the better as a whole.
It also benefited the rest at work as well… yeah.. yeah.. leave the bad reputation to me.

I don’t really care though… work is work.
If you want my real honesty.
The only reason they want me there is because “make your absence felt“.
When you’re one who works quietly at the back end, they can’t see there are any problems until the problems reek out.
They can find a replacement of you (there are always someone better than you out there, that’s a fact), but, it’s going to take time.
Also, I’m someone who does things on the spot.
You don’t need to wait long for me to attend to you, even if there’s 5 people waiting “in line”.
But, it takes experience to do so.. as in, you’d need to know the ins and outs of many things to do things straight away, else you’d be slaving away trying to figure out how to do something.
Learn quickly.. it has to be a habit.
They’re just happy that things get taken care of and on time.
But, I would eat the cake if I know I don’t know something or know that I can’t get it done.
I’ll say that honestly.
I will say sorry if I’m wrong and fix the problem.
There is no ego in work.
(But, yes, I am egoistic in my personal life.. trollololol~ +_+).

I’m biased.
I love my regional IT team… all the IT peeps in Asia.
Seriously love.
With capitalised L O V E.
The same way I treat those people which we’d usually call clients, but, probably a little more attention.
If I find out they’re having problems and they’re stuck in between barriers of their own countries’ issues or internal matters, I’d talk to my boss.
Sometimes I think that that’s my boss’ job.
But, I talk to most of them on a regular basis, as a colleague and friend.
I know I have that extra authority to be able to push certain things for them.
They know NOTHING about this though.
I never tell them that I was the one who pushed for them.
But, it’s rewarding to see them happy and working harder than before.
It’s a positive cycle, so, I’m down with it.

I know pretty well that I will get into trouble because I’m one who would push for the good of all.
But, so far, my boss handles it well afterwards. :)
Although, sometimes, he doesn’t tell me anything after the talk and would come up with solutions after speaking to the top tier peeps.
I might not be as high as my boss to be able to make decisions at a higher level, but, I’m lucky to have him as my boss.

Since I’ve been with the current organisation, I’ve become… an honest and open book.
You either hate or like me.
My aim in certain conditions are different, for sure, but, at work, I get it done when I should, whether you like it or not.
If I have to push for something, I’ll make sure it’ll reap positive benefits.
So, if I do give you a piece of my mind, you have to trust me that I’m waking you up from your idling world of your own.
The rest is up to you to make the choice.. to think for yourself.
To see if it’s worth it and what went wrong.
Yeah yeah.. I’m a dreamer at times.. but, I’m pretty different when I know where I should stand.

And to think that society says that IT people can’t portray their feelings properly or show real emotions or benefit others in real life.

Don’t get me wrong.
I’m not the opposite of quiet.
I’m still quiet most of the time because I think a lot.
It’s just that, people know something is wrong when I start talking.

 

Don’t leave before you leave

Hahaha…
This..
I want to say… is entirely true as well.

Even before I went into this field, I was thinking.. what if I had kids in the future and I won’t be able to do what I do in IT.
I was thinking about carrying heavy IT equipment.
I was scared that I would have to leave work if I had kids.
(In addition to having to push my way through from all the people who told me to give up my dreams).
I didn’t want to give up my dreams in the first place.
If I had worked hard to get it, I wouldn’t want to let it go.

But, thinking back.
If I had thought all of that to come true aka leaving work and my dreams.
Then, I wouldn’t have even reached the first level of my dreams.
I think I’m at phase 2.

If I was already “strong” to begin with, I shall put my faith to the fact that I will be stronger, in the future, after all those life trials and tribulations (not just work-based, but, on a personal level as well).

What this means is.. you don’t know what the future holds.
What if your predictions were wrong and you’ve given up that dream you’ve wanted most of your life and then, regret about?
Until the day you know you have to make the choice to leave and walk away, don’t assume too much and live in that moment.

I would probably have wished that I didn’t listen to anyone and took a degree in IT as my heart had told me to because they thought I would’ve gotten a better ROI.
I would probably have wished that I had channelled my life into my career instead of my so-called finding Mr Right and waste a lot of my time, energy and emotions.
I would probably have wished that by now, I would’ve done better and more because I want to be abroad to do more humanitarian work.

But, it’s as it is.
As she has mentioned, “Don’t make decisions too far in advance. Particularly the ones you’re not consciously making“.
There are no right or wrong answers eventually.
We sometimes have to make decisions out of a split second and… luck.. probably.. fate.
Like a job.. whether you get it or not depending on the time, situation and even the hirer’s mood of the day.

 

Actually…
Do what you want with your life.

Not everyone wants to be on top… well, a few people told me so.
Some wants to take it easy and stay average.
But, if you do know that you can take hold or charge of some things that you’re entitled to, try to get it.
Don’t reject every single good thing in life just because you want to just be. <3

 

<3 Icesabel

Lailatul Qadr

Took a picture a few minutes ago (yes.. outside my window).

Allaah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) described the morning after Lailatul-Qadr, so that the Muslim may know which day it is.
From Ubayy, (RA), who said that he (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said:
“On the morning following Laylatul-Qadr  the sun rises not having any rays, as if it were a brass dish, until it rises up.” 

[Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmithi and Ibn Majah]

 

Ibn ‘Abbaas (RA), said that Allaah’s Messenger, (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), said:
“Lailatul-Qadr is calm and pleasant, neither hot nor cold, the sun arises on its morning being feeble and red.” 

[ Ibn Khuzaimah and al-Bazzaar with a Hasan Isnad]

 

 

 

According to the holy Quran, the Lailatul Qadr is better than the worship of 1,000 months as the angels and the spirit descend therein, by the permission of Almighty Allah with all decrees.

This is one of the holiest and most blessed nights which is likely to occur on one of the odd nights in the last 10 days of Ramadan and most likely to be the 27th of the holy month.

The devout Muslims traditionally observe the occasion through nightlong special prayers, milad, Quran Khwani, religious discussions at mosques and in their houses on this holy night.

 

 

The Lailatul Qadr is also called the Night of Power.

Allah the Almighty declares: “Verily, We have sent it (Holy Quran) down in the night of Al Qadr. And what will make you know what the night of Al Qadr is? The night of Al Qadr is better than a thousand months (i.e. worshipping Allah in that night is better than worshipping Him a thousand months. Therein descend the angels including Angel Gabriel by Allah’s permission with all Decrees. (All that night), there is peace (and Goodness from Allah to His believing slaves) until the appearance of dawn.” (Holy Quran).

The Night of Power is the crowning glory of the worship in the holy month of Ramadan. It is most likely to take place in the last 10 days of the month when a Muslim’s devotion reaches its zenith. One way of doing this is to stay in a mosque for Aitekaaf, following the sunnah of the holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

It was on this night that the Holy  Quran was first revealed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) by Allah. That was a defining event because it meant that Allah chose to show man the way to his happiness in this present life and the life Hereafter, providing him with a constitution to implement. Little wonder that this beautiful night is regarded by Muslims as the most important event in history.

Tradition says that whoever establishes the prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah’s rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven.

 

 

When does it happen:

No one can tell exactly when Lailatul Qadr occurs. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) states: “Lailatul Qadr occurs during the last 10 days of Ramadan” (Bukhari).

Hazrat Aisha Radiallah Anha stated that Rasool Allah peace be upon him said, “Look for Lailat-Ul-Qadr in the odd nights of the last ten days of Ramadhan.” (Bukhari)

For the simple fact that the actual date is unknown, it is said to be one of the magical aspects of Lailatul Qadr as Muslims should always strive to be in ibadah and increase their good deeds.
The small yet consistent good deeds are far better than the many deeds done only at certain times.

From the first day of Ramadan until the 10th day, mosques are often filled with Muslims attending Isya’ and Tarawih prayers as well as Quranic recitations and others.
And normally, the congregational prayers at the mosques will decline as Muslims are tied up with Hari Raya preparations; baking cookies, setting up fireworks and the like.

During the third phase of Ramadan, which is usually from the 20th day until the end of the holy month, mosques will be even less occupied.
This habit must change.
It is during the third phase of Ramadan that people should be attending to their ibadah even more, in search of Lailatul Qadr.

 

<3 Icesabel

Come and Go

I’m… sort of panicking..
Sort of.

There seems to be a hiccup for my wedding preparation.
All I can think of is.. “whatever”.
That’s what happens when I’ve spent too much time and energy on this for a year… alone.
I already have a white flag on my head.

Already asked a few people for help and they couldn’t.
Can’t blame them.. it’s already at the last minute.
Well.. sort of.. 2 weeks more.. but, still.

Now, I feel like putting my stuff away and sulk one side ’cause I pretty much have no mood to work.
My leave starts on Thursday, but, I feel that I need to take a longer time off.
Just to plomp my lifeless body on my bed and cover my face with my pillow.
/sigh

If this is what they call the jitters to back off from a marriage.
It has been boiling in me for weeks now.
Not because of the preparations though.
I thought I’ve gone through this again and again.
But, I still have a phobia of marriage.
It’s still there hanging around.
Pissing me off.

What am I to do…

acchi-kocchi

 

<3 Icesabel

Two sides to every coin

This has been bugging me for awhile…

I don’t think I need to say anything about the current situation between Israel and occupied Palestinian territory.

 

My FB news section is been flooded about it constantly (apart from the Malaysian Airlines Flight M17).


There seems to be a friend (not a close one) who initially stands by one side.
With whom has a few friends who shares her sentiments.
If I were to be pissed off, I would’ve simply un-friended her.
But, I was somehow… intrigued.

Posts started off as Israel being the victim.
Then, for others to conclude based on looking into both sides.
Comments were then removed.
Poking fun on something that is related to Islam.
States “It is often times the ignorant who are the most arrogant”.
Ends off to say that we’re all human (looking past religious issues) and should help one another.
(Not going to even mention what her friends comment about all these).

Couldn’t agree more to the portion where it’s said to understand from both ends.
I do believe that everyone is free to speak their mind and each to their own choices and beliefs.
The ones that did comment seemed to be those who hate Islam, not that I’d ever know why.
But, even as she draw to a close and concluded like so, others still spewed hatred.

 

 

What pissed me off though is this.

A well-known Israeli politician and parliament member has branded Palestinians as terrorists, saying mothers of all Palestinians should also be killed during the ongoing Israeli assault on the besieged Gaza Strip, Daily Sabah reported.

Ayelet Shaked of the ultra-nationalist Jewish Home party called for the slaughter of Palestinian mothers who give birth to “little snakes.”

“They have to die and their houses should be demolished so that they cannot bear any more terrorists,” Shaked said, adding, “They are all our enemies and their blood should be on our hands. This also applies to the mothers of the dead terrorists.”

The remarks are considered as a call for genocide as she declared that all Palestinians are Israel’s enemies and must be killed.

On Monday (July 7) Shaked quoted this on her Facebook page:

“Behind every terrorist stand dozens of men and women, without whom he could not engage in terrorism. They are all enemy combatants, and their blood shall be on all their heads. Now this also includes the mothers of the martyrs, who send them to hell with flowers and kisses. They should follow their sons, nothing would be more just. They should go, as should the physical homes in which they raised the snakes. Otherwise, more little snakes will be raised there.”

 

The Palestinian Christians are in the debacle as well.

Palestinian Christian: Western Christians Don’t Understand Gaza/Israeli Conflict

 

 

I pray for the safety of the innocent.
I neither like the choices made by Hamas nor the leaders of Israel.
This isn’t a game.. you can’t bring them back to life after you’ve stolen their right to live.

 

 

The Jews from around the world seem to have another side of their story as well.

 

 

Pray for Palestine.

 

 

Israel accused of war crimes (UK Parliament)

 
<3 Icesabel

An Open Letter To Mark Zuckerberg?

An Open Letter To Mark Zuckerberg

If you want to quit… do so.
Unfortunately, it’s most probable that they’d do nothing to change.
It’s the same for most cases on anything that has moved from alpha to delta phase, etc.
Especially when monetary reasons come into place.

I want to come back to Facebook as an user. I want to connect with my online friends once again. I want to see what they are up to. But until the day I feel comfortable enough sharing anything on Facebook, I will avoid your site like a plague. Can you please help ex-users like me rebuild the lost confidence of using your social network?

I would suggest this.
Not placing info about yourself in FB at all.
It’s pretty simple.

  • Don’t post your full name.. heck.. don’t even indicate your real name of any sort. Nicknames are fine. Your IRL friends know how you look like.. no one cares what nickname you give yourself as long as they know you’re “John, the class clown who makes stupid jokes to fill the classroom with laughter every single day”. People google/search for your name for different reasons. HR.. security departments.. do checks online.. so, why share info?
  • Don’t be silly.. no one needs to know your address or phone numbers or security numbers or whatever personal details about so-and-so being your siblings or relatives or parents or whatever. If they’re close to you, sure enough they’ll know. If not, they can easily ask you personally anyway. What data can they steal if you give nothing to them? Can’t create an account because you didn’t indicate your birthday or last name, etc? Like a nickname.. whatever birth date that rocks your boat unless you want that long list of “happy birthday” wishes from so-and-so just to make yourself feel special and remembered.
  • We don’t necessarily need to know you’re already at the airport, to show us the ticket or hotel to exactly where you are and when exactly you’ll be gone so some dodgy person out there can start planning on what crap they’d do (you know… break in.. steal stuff.. whatever).
  • Ads? Cancel it.. ignore it.. scroll it down.. up.. left.. right.. who cares? Just don’t press directly on it. If you’re smart enough to know it’s an annoying ad… then, why are you so flabbergasted over it and decides to feel “cheated” by accidentally pressing it and causing a domino effect on your life?
  • Share info? You’re already telling people you’re in the bathroom to make a chocolate cake, what other info are you not even sensitive enough not to tell others? That you got drunk and didn’t want your prospective employer to see you in such a state? That you support a certain clan or influential leader of some sort … which is against the rules and laws?
  • Privacy settings? Lock it all.. if not.. well.. well.. well… you didn’t put anything stupid on your page.. did you?
  • If you’re still pissed.. try… NOT posting your own pics online at all as well.. well, you aim to only keep in contact with your friends. They don’t exactly need to know what you’re doing every minute since these are the ones who contact you once in a blue moon. Those who are way closer to you can simply call your mobile any time and catch up with you.
  • Still frustrated? VPN your connection. Block your IP.. whatever to make sure you’re in the middle of nowhere.. as long as they don’t know you’re at a certain somewhere… unless you’ve already posted a selfie of yourself outside your house a few seconds ago just because you think that you look extra good looking on such a fine day today. Ooops… if that wasn’t bad enough… you’ve ‘accidentally” tagged your location because it’s a habit of yours.
  • Not satisfied? Do you still need to be babysit by FB instead of taking charge of your own data? Maybe you should re-analyse what you actually want out of this.

Sure, the “you’ll-probably-know-who” will eventually pick up pieces and place your info into one big slab of info about Mr Secretive.
But, all in all.. you’re pretty much “anonymous” to a point.

 

<3 Icesabel